tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41767039192639246082024-03-04T21:10:57.995-08:00This is happening.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-1937415537342963712015-07-16T02:36:00.000-07:002015-07-16T02:36:42.485-07:00India vignettes: Faith<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today as I was stepping out into oncoming traffic to cross the street with Willie strapped to my back, I had a deep realization about the meaning of faith. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-2036532646731382232015-07-16T02:29:00.000-07:002015-07-16T02:29:31.027-07:00India Vignettes: Parks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(I'm too overwhelmed with life here to post--or even journal--about all the things that we encounter and think and feel during the day. So I decided that rather than try to be chronological, I'll go by topics and do little paragraphs at a time.)<br />
<br />
We are really blessed to have three parks within walking distance of our house! The parks are different here, though--they are all fenced, with posted rules and hours. None of them are open during the middle of the day--just early morning for exercise and then late afternoon after the children get out of school. We often go to Joggers' Park in the afternoons after nap time. It's lovely, with concentric walking and jogging paths, birds in cages, a long wall against the ocean where we can throw rocks, a duck pond, and a playground. My love for it decreased a LITTLE bit after we tried to take a tricycle there (after our kind neighbor found us one to borrow for the summer!) and were told "No tricycles." I had wondered if it would be allowed based on how over regulated all the parks seem to be, but I thought we needed to at least try. When he said that, though I almost cried, and even my super conflict-avoidance self objected. I stood there and read the ten-foot tall poster of the rule list, and announced "But it doesn't say that in the rules!" And what I got for my efforts was "No tricycles."<br />
<br />
I am still super fond of that park, though. It does a lot for us. Its nice to have somewhere to go in the afternoons to play outside, even if we can't bring our borrowed trike.<br />
<br />
Hands-down my favorite thing about parks here is the way they attract lovers. In a city and a country this crowded, you have to really be trying to find some space to be alone, and so the parks and boardwalks and sea walls and benches always seem to be adorned with pairs of guys and girls, heads bent, talking, or her legs over his lap or his head in her lap, just enjoying the relative privacy. It's really cute<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); font-size: 15px;">. </span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-52940194035601089342015-02-10T22:48:00.003-08:002015-02-10T22:50:35.106-08:00What we didn't get to talk about on Sunday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've been thinking a lot about agency, lately, and so when I saw what the topic of the Relief Society lesson was going to be, and later when we were having that guilt-ridden Sunday morning conversation about how bad does a runny nose have to be to keep my kid out of nursery (he went), I insisted that <i>I would be the parent who got to attend her meetings alone</i>. This was a lesson I needed to hear, a discussion I wanted to be part of. <br />
<br />
And it was good. It was a good lesson and we discussed and I expect women learned important things. But we didn't get to <i>that part</i>, you know? That part of the lesson that really spoke to me, and that I was just starting to try to understand, and that I would have loved to have heard input on from my sisters. We just kind of recited platitudes to each other and kept our soft parts hidden and coasted back and forth along the highway of ingrained, acceptable answers and appropriate recent experiences without ever really looking deeper. And I was frustrated and I wanted to raise my hand and pull the switch to completely derail the discussion in my direction but something in between lack of time and acknowledgement of my own selfishness stopped me. <br />
<br />
The lesson was on agency. What we talked about was obedience. I've spent the last several years of my life trying to understand the intersection of these two, and although they're commonly conflated in church culture, I'm fairly certain they're not at all the same thing. In the church we talk a lot about how this life is a test, and I think that contributes to the confusion. It may well be a fitting analogy, but I think it's a really limiting analogy, without proper elaboration.<br />
<br />
Saying life is a test implies correct answers. So if life is a test, what kind of test is it? True or false? I doubt it. True or False tests have always been a pretend sort of test, the celebration of high-schoolers--sometimes the truth can be disguised but it's always pretty easy to guess right. If not that, then what? Word problems? I think that, up until recently, this is the paradigm I was functioning under. We believe in the existence of absolute truth, truth that applies to everyone and doesn't change. It seems to follow then, that if you learn the truth, learn the proper formulas, all you have to do is just figure out how to apply them in real world situations, and you'll find The Right Answer. If Jack is 17 and Mary is 15, how long will it be until they can go on a date? Easy. But if Henry has 3 potential majors he's interested in, which one should he pick? Or, for example, if Maria is going to go on a mission but is simultaneously falling in love with her boyfriend, what should she do? It was on that question, in college, that my worldview started to fall apart. I prayed the most helpless and pathetic prayers of my life over this question (and I'm so grateful for a loving Father in Heaven who was--and is--everlastingly patient with me, because I was a mess). For months, I cried and agonized and yelled at God to tell me what to do, because I was sure He knew and just wasn't telling me, and that this not-telling-me was just a test and I was supposed to learn something. <i>I just wanted to do God's will!</i> <i>Why wouldn't He tell me what it was?</i> I was so mind-numbingly afraid of choosing wrong that I refused to choose at all. Because there had to be a right answer, right? <br />
<br />
No. Well, yes. But no. <br />
<br />
So five years later, I think it's an essay test. Well, maybe true-or-false followed by an essay test. There are some right answers, some super basic things you absolutely need to include or it doesn't even get passed. Then there are other right things that contain and streamline your choices, like, a 5-paragraph structure is good. But you can't just gather your evidence and present a sound thesis and expect to win a Pulitzer. The artistry is just beginning. Go write something personal and true and beautiful that delights and expands you. <br />
<br />
I married him. I didn't go on a mission and I married the boyfriend, and God, in the end, didn't tell me what to do. He didn't reveal The Right Decision. What He <i>did</i> do was reassure me that the choice I was making was A Good Decision, once I realized what I wanted. <br />
<br />
We believe in universal truth. But we don't believe in universal homogeneity. I actually think that extrapolating universality out to an inappropriate point is almost as damaging as embracing moral relativism. As with so many things in the Gospel, there's a delicate balance. <br />
<br />
So, does God have a plan for my life? I absolutely believe He does. I just don't think it is necessarily as detailed as I once believed. Sometimes God is specific in his guidance, and sometimes He is vague. Sometimes "His Will" for me can embrace several different "correct" options I might choose. That was the case with my mission papers. From my experience, He can be specific in one person's life and vague in another, even on the very same question. But fearful paralysis in the face of vague guidance is not the answer. Free agency, free response. I still absolutely need to pray about decisions, because unless I do I won't know if God has an opinion on that particular subject. If he does, I already know what I want to choose. And if He doesn't, how hopeful! How fortifying! God believes in my ability to choose for myself, to wield my agency with strength and power to make <i>us both</i> happy. <br />
<br />
I came home on Sunday night and happened to read <a href="https://www.dialoguejournal.com/wp-content/uploads/sbi/articles/ffinterview.pdf">this </a>interview. I think it was a little gift from Heaven, because it was just what I wanted to talk about in Relief Society, only she said it better than I would have. Integrity! We each have an obligation to make choices that are in line with God's will. But once we choose to obey, are we done talking about agency? Is that all that our agency was meant for? Of course not. We also have an obligation to make choices that are in line with our will, the deepest desires and beliefs of our own best selves. <br />
<br />
"I understand why we value obedience, but I think we
can hyper-value it at the expense of our moral development. I
don’t believe in a god who would let us obey our way into godhood.
Instead, God gives us a world in which we may borrow
wisdom from others, but we also must learn through the exercise
of free will, through mistake-making, through the earnest seeking
of truth based in our own thinking, discerning, and seeking. As
moral agents, we have to assert imperfect choices amid imperfect
realities. That process is fundamental to our personal and spiritual
development, but we often don’t want the responsibility that
comes with that imperfect process. And because of our fear of
responsibility, I think we take comfort in the idea of obedience.
We can act but have it be on an authority’s shoulders—we can
escape some of the anxiety of figuring out what is really right. But
this pseudo escape from responsibility is to our own detriment" (Dr. Jennifer Finalyson-Fife)<br />
<br />
So can I suggest another analogy? Apprenticeship. We are apprenticed to become gods. There are rules, and we can still flunk out, if you will, and lose our chance at godhood, like a carpenter's apprentice might lose his chance at mastering the trade by repeated failure (is that how it works? I'm making the analogy work because it's the best thing I can think of). But we are expected to <i>create</i>. We are expected to work, and not to be commanded in all things, but to demonstrate that we are capable of doing the work the master does. Otherwise how could we ever be certified? I believe in Parents in Heaven who make their own decisions. They do not take commandment from another, They are perfect and make consistently perfect choices. If I am going to become like Them, I need to learn to make perfect choices on my own, and that takes a little help, for now, and a lot of practice. They are also infinitely creative. I presume that They created the world based on their own design, based on what they wished and found most delightful and <i>good</i>. I believe I am expected to do the same--create a life that is pleasing to Them but that is also beautiful and delightful, and <i>good</i>, to the very best me I can become. We are here "that we might have joy," not so that we could be "compelled in all things." <br />
<br />
Navigating the white space under the free response prompts is what I wanted to talk about on Sunday. Because I think this points to integrity as one of the most elemental virtues of the Gospel, and to "know thyself" as right up there with Love God and Love One Another. So where does that fit? How does it reconcile with the ideal of selflessness? Anyone?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-58218789523746072872014-07-20T12:19:00.001-07:002014-07-20T19:17:10.214-07:00Bliviousness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"I have been thinking about existence lately. In fact, I have been so full of admiration for existence that I have hardly been able to enjoy it properly." (Marilynne Robinson, <span style="font-style: italic;">Gilead</span><span style="font-style: italic;">)</span><br />
<br />
Sometimes I think the greatest argument for immortality is the fallibility of human memory. The fact of forgetfulness seems, to me, proof enough that life on earth cannot be the pinnacle of human achievement. If this were all there was, don't you think we'd remember it better? I'm not talking about forgetting to return my library books, I'm talking about my inability to remember with perfect clarity the most important days and moments and interactions I ever hope to have. My wedding day? A blur of ivory lace and rust-colored flowers, pearls and lemonade and too-high heels and hugs from new relatives. The babyhood of my firstborn child, which I was sure was diamond-strong and precious enough to last, has dissipated into fog and every laugh and coo and sleepy smile from this new little one I can feel vanishing from memory almost as fast as it comes. I can't remember all I see, and I can't even see everything there is to see! I can't stare at husband and children individually every minute, and catch every passing expression and emotion and word. I can't, I can't, and then it's all such a waste. <br />
<br />
This problem is the subject of one of my favorite passages from what just might be my favorite book of all time: <br />
"'One more sun,' sighed the king at evening, 'and now another darkness. This has to stop. The days fly past us as if they were racing pigeons. We may as well be pebbles, for all the notice life takes of us or we of it. No one holds in mind the blind harper when he is gone. No one commemorates the girl who grains the geese. none of the deeds of our people leave the least tiny mark upon time. Where's the sense in running a kingdom if it all just piffles off into air? Tell me that, whoever can.'<br />
...<br />
'Why is it that the moon keeps better track of itself than we manage to? And the seasons put us to shame, they always know which they are , who's been, whose turn now, who comes next, all that sort of thing. Why can't we have memories as humble as those? Tell me that, whoever can.'<br />
...<br />
'Oblivion has been the rule too long. What this kingdom needs in the time to come is some, umm, some blivion. There, that's it, we need to become a more blivious people. Enough of this forgettery. But how to do it, it will take some doing. What's to be done? Tell me that, whoever can.'"<br />
(from <i>Dancing at the Rascal Fair</i> by Ivan Doig)<br />
<br />
Today was our last Sunday in our ward, before we move. I spent most of it looking around the room and trying to memorize faces and thinking about what I'd learned from people and wondering if I'd remember them long. Some I know I will, others I suppose will gradually recede until they become people whose faces, though once important, lie so long unused in my memory that even when needed and dusted off they can never really be recalled with their original clarity. The talks today were on love. The First and Great Commandments, loving God and loving our fellow men. And it struck me then that perhaps loving our fellow men is the hardest thing we're asked to do. Not hard because it's always so difficult, but hard because to love someone is to open oneself up to pain and loss, to make oneself unbearably vulnerable. We are commanded to love like God loves, and yet live in a temporal and mortal world, governed by time and circumstance and natural laws and death and separation. The achievement of this commandment comes at great sacrifice. The more you love, the harder is the eventual and certain loss. But. The reward for success in this life, success at fulfilling this commandment and all others, is an absolute recompense for the losses sustained in God's service. God loves perfectly, and,<i> all things are present to Him</i>. He remembers perfectly, if you can call it that in Heavenly terms. I'm sure that comes with its own share of pain, but a perfect being with perfect love must have many happy memories to reflect upon. My idea of Heaven, and sometimes what I think is my greatest desire for the life hereafter, is to achieve God's memory--to be outside time, to have all my happy earth memories returned to me in full perfection and thus become whole. <br />
<br />
Another favorite passage from another favorite book:<br />
"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then has to close its eyes again. I know this is all mere apparition compared to what awaits us, but it is only lovelier for that. There is a human beauty in it. And I can't believe that, when we have all been changed and put on incorruptibility, we will forget our fantastic condition of mortality and impermanence, the great bright dream of procreating and perishing that meant the whole world to us. In eternity this world will be Troy, I believe, and all that has passed here will be the epic of the universe, the ballad they sing in the streets. Because I don't imagine any reality putting this one in the shade entirely, and I think piety forbids me to try." (Marilynne Robinson, <i>Gilead</i>). <br />
<br />
And that's all I have to say about that right now. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-54279726777819709102014-06-30T19:21:00.001-07:002014-07-06T19:50:26.525-07:00On womanhood and power.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">This isn’t a birth story; it’s more of a birth opinion editorial.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3kt0exmlihnG5a788O89jdLyI06oGssRdjsbMV5En0nJLfpC1NHQ1EIgEPUGboB283dgsqqkMDTdCWpbbelw7X8vrNzh53jreQPcliEYq-Z443oa48g0vXhc-mkeEMkUrX1J2EO8TEFo/s1600/IMG_5234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3kt0exmlihnG5a788O89jdLyI06oGssRdjsbMV5En0nJLfpC1NHQ1EIgEPUGboB283dgsqqkMDTdCWpbbelw7X8vrNzh53jreQPcliEYq-Z443oa48g0vXhc-mkeEMkUrX1J2EO8TEFo/s1600/IMG_5234.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">(It's also an announcement. Voila! Here he is.)</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
I had this baby without an epidural. I wanted it that way for a few reasons, but topping the list were these two: 1) I am alive, and I want to experience life to the fullest. 2) I have a magnificent power, a gift. I want to receive that gift with open arms and holding nothing back. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">I used to think that unmedicated childbirth was for weird hippies who were afraid of modern medicine or completely OCD people who thought they needed to do everything the hardest way possible. Or both. I briefly considered natural childbirth, long before I had any reason to, and dismissed it as too high a standard to be reasonable. Then I talked to my mother. Then I did some serious pondering. I talked to women who had given birth naturally about their experiences and motivations. I did a lot of reading. I did some self-analysis. And from familiar facts I came to the startling conclusion that I wanted an unmedicated birth. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Pregnancy and childbirth are astounding. My husband and I collaborate on the design of a new human body. That much we do together, but then I proceed to create it and bring it into the world, with the tender encouragement and support of my husband, but really under my body’s own power. Not only do I have this power, but every mother has since Eve! This is a defining characteristic of the human condition, of the feminine condition, and since it was being made available to me, I wanted into that club. I wanted to do it all by myself, and I wanted to experience and remember the whole process.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">It’s an awesome power to possess. As a Christian it becomes even more meaningful when I consider the resemblance it bears, in infinite miniature, to the Atonement of the Savior. There’s a reason we call baptism being “born again.” Let me elaborate briefly: a woman creates life. She nurtures life. At a certain point, that life cannot progress any further without her giving it further life. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">This process of giving her creation further life:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> -is very painful but the pain leaves very little physical mark on her body</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> -involves a flowing forth of blood and water</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> -generally pushes the woman just to the point of feeling that she cannot or would not do it, but it is </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> accomplished regardless</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> -is very readily life-threatening (if something goes wrong), so the mother is in a very real sense </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"> putting her own life on the line for the life of her child.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">This is a gift I wanted to receive in the fullest sense. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Additionally, in the sense that things generally oppose each other, that along the sinusoid of life you can’t have a peak higher than the depth of a trough, I had the thought that experiencing the full pain of birth might heighten the associated joy. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">I wasn’t terribly inclined to talk openly about my plans, but when it did come up it was often met with polite dismissal: “I could never do that.” It’s a hard thing to explain to another woman without sounding aloof and judgy and so I mostly kept my mouth shut unless directly addressed. Besides, I hadn’t even found out if <i>I</i> could do it yet.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">In retrospect what floors me is that I really wondered if I could. But of course, that’s the secret. The thing is, we women <i>can</i> do it. Of course we can. It’s innate. In the moment, with no other options, women have amazing power and strength. (In my opinion, the hardest thing about natural childbirth in a modern environment is the mental fortitude required to say no to relief when offered). </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Why did I doubt myself? My first labor was long and drawn out, I was tense and terrified and uninformed. I ended up choosing medical interventions after many hours, which led to complications which led to other interventions, and I was left with the feeling that without interventions, I couldn’t have had that baby at all. That somehow my body had made a mistake and needed help. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">I think I doubted myself because the message from doctors, the message from current society, and certainly the messages on TV and in the movies made childbirth appear to be an emergency; a horrible, painful oppression; a terrible experience to be avoided; unsavory certainly, and impossible without medical intervention to “save” the woman from the whole process. Not to mention a royal inconvenience. In retrospect, this makes me so <i>angry</i>. It’s so evil. Childbirth is strong and galvanizing and wonderful--and I was made to fear it! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">It’s not that I resent the modern advances that allow birth to be so much safer and more comfortable. Childbirth <i>can</i> be very dangerous when things go wrong and these advances are wonderful, inspired blessings. What makes me mad is the culture that tells unsuspecting, uninformed women that they need help to do this thing their bodies were very specifically designed to do, or that this power, this beautiful life-changing experience needs to be attenuated to suit their fragility. Or something. It’s unbearably demeaning. It tells women their beautiful, glorious power is an terrible, scarring inconvenience that should be avoided <i>at all costs</i>. It goes to great lengths to prevent us from discovering just how powerful we <i>are. </i>It strips women of our inherent power and offers to save us from something we’re strong enough to conquer on our own. Are there women in the world who want more power? Start by owning, by acknowledging what’s yours. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">At one point during this most recent labor I remember thinking, “This had better not get any worse or I won’t be able to handle it.” And then I stopped and asked myself what not being able to handle it meant. Was I going to die of pain? Of course not. How could I not handle it? It was just happening to me and all I had to do was be still and observe and allow it to happen. The labor pains were coming from my own body, so therefore the stronger they got, the stronger I was. How could my body not handle what my body was itself producing? People compare labor to a marathon and in some ways it’s like that but in others it really isn’t. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Here’s what unmedicated birth <i>is</i>: Painful. Legitimizing. Glorious. Womanly. Strong and tearful and loud and raw. Goddess-like. Difficult. Deep. Joyful. Very human, and very, very real. It is also: Relatively short (a matter of hours or days is not the same as a broken bone, which takes months to heal). Inconsistent (brief periods of pain interspersed with periods of rest). Very hard, but very, very possible (if I can do it, anyone can). If it weren’t, the human race would not exist. It is also surprising in its emotional repercussions. I birthed a child, but I was reborn myself. It sounds so cliché to say, but I feel like before this birth I saw myself as a girl—now, I see a woman. It changed me in a powerful way. I have strength and power and self-confidence like never before. I really feel like I have joined the ranks of my matriarchs. I share in their power. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">It’s not so much that the experience that I had, in the moment of birth, was so much more meaningful than my medicated birth. Each time, I brought a new person into the world, and that is something momentous in any situation. (Although without the epidural I knew I had experienced it fully and accomplished it unaided and that itself was a thrill). It’s more that I learned something—I proved something to myself, about myself, and now I can’t see myself the same way anymore. I know how powerful I am. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">I think this quote really sums up my feelings:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">I wanted to "make [birth] a far more deep and memorable experience. Everything is so cheap these days--in-your-face, mass-produced, common, and banal. Yet within [her] own sphere, each [wo]man has the power to sacralize something--to take it back from being trampled under foot and make it something more meaningful--to turn it into something that will add a richness and texture to [her] life rather than just another run-of-the-mill experience in a tirelessly ordinary and worn out world." (Brett & Kate McKay)</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Refusing the epidural helped me sacralize my experience. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">Or, from Emerson, more succinctly: "Give me truths, for I am weary of the surfaces." </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">So, that was my experience. I don’t believe everyone will feel the same way I do, nor do I think that my choice is the right choice for every woman. Medicated birth (I’ve done it both ways) is still a beautiful and life-changing experience. But my goodness do I ever want to share my choice just the same. Because what I would love to do is supplant the oppressive, demeaning, terrifying messages about childbirth with stories that share the good, the beauty, and the self-discovery that birth can bring. Stories that celebrate the power of women doing what is and can only be women’s work. It’s a glorious thing, to be sure, but the glory is buried in a landslide of fear and shame and self-doubt. I just want women to be able to make an unbiased decision in the face of that landslide. I was fortunate to have a woman very close to me plant the seed in my mind, and fortunate to know other women with similar feelings that I could learn from. That’s what I want to do now. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">So, in the words of a friend who inspired me in my choice and preparation for unmedicated birth, let me just tell you: “Girl, it wasn’t that bad.” </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;">To my sisters considering natural birth: go for it. I mean, if that's what you want. Or don't. An epidural is a miraculous pain-reliever. I just want you to think it through, really put some thought into it, be an active participant. Somehow, make sure you <i>sacralize the experience</i>. Wield your agency with confidence--there's more than one way of doing things. Read and be informed and make your own decisions. Stop watching birth shows on TV. (Seriously. With the possible exception of <i>Call the Midwife</i>, which is fairly non-toxic and sometimes quite uplifting). Stop listening to women who want to tell you their birth horror-stories. Try to believe those who tell you how wonderful it will be. Stop asking yourself ridiculous questions about your pain threshold and your physical strength, and start asking meaningful questions of older or more experienced women you trust. All of us have imperfect bodies, and some of us have imperfect reproductive systems (my imperfections tend more toward hyperactive allergies and weak lungs and astonishingly bad enamel; we all have our issues). But except in rare cases, our bodies generally do what they are designed to do. <b>WE ARE WOMEN</b>. Let us embrace that fact. Prepare. Study. Practice visualizations, hypnosis, breathing, whatever. But trust your body. Decide to have your own experience. Reach out broad and deep and really feel your life. You can do this.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; color: #222222;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-62923940173490547452014-04-24T11:28:00.000-07:002014-04-24T11:28:14.584-07:00The birth plan.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Basically what we have so far is Colby will reenact the following for me while I'm in labor:<br />
<br />
"A lost cause is the only cause worth fighting for."<br />
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"I see pride! I see power!"<br />
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"Listen... take a lesson from the dead." <br />
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"This day we fight!"<br />
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<br />
"St... stay gold."<br />
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<br />
"AND MEN IN ENGLAND NOW ABED WILL THINK THEMSELVES ACCURSED THEY WERE NOT HERE AND HOLD THEIR MANHOODS CHEAP WHILST ANY SPEAKS THAT FOUGHT WITH US UPON SAINT CRISPIN'S DAY!"<br />
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And of course, if it really gets bad, the hole card:<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-42192046391447237332014-04-09T12:02:00.000-07:002014-04-09T12:07:28.057-07:009 Thoughts about Women and the Priesthood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I have been doing lots of thinking about women and the
priesthood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel comfortable
with the organization of the Church as it stands and don’t have a great desire
to ask for priesthood ordination, but I do have a great curiosity and desire to
understand as much as I can about why the Church is organized as it is and what
is to be my individual role in the Church, in this life, and in eternity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been doing lots of research and
thinking and pondering, and have come to some conclusions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those conclusions were confirmed and
expanded upon by Elder Oaks in the Priesthood session of General
Conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so grateful for
that talk; I’d been praying for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">By describing my
comfort with the Church and my starting points of faith, I do not wish to elevate
myself above those who may be struggling with doubt in regard to this
issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First, because knowing is a
spiritual gift and I can’t take much credit for having it in this case (D&C
46:11-26).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Second, because there
are other things in the gospel that do give me pause (see missionary work, for
example), and I certainly do not pretend to complete faith or complete
obedience in every case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just
want to share what I’ve learned and been thinking about this particular topic.<o:p></o:p></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For my own benefit and that of anyone interested, I’m going
to lay out what I’ve discovered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some of it is doctrinal and comes from sources of authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of it feels right to me but I
would hesitate to declare it as truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Some of it is wild speculation, which I don’t believe the Church has
ever discouraged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to lay
out my thought processes and conclusions, I will start by laying out my
premises.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are some things that I know, and some things that I
believe:</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that I am a daughter of God and that he loves
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that I have a
Heavenly Mother as well, who is equal to Heavenly Father in power and
authority.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that God values women
and men equally as his children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know that gender does not define the extent of the potential of any of God’s
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that men and
women have distinct qualities and characteristics of spirit, emotion and mind
stemming from gender, far beyond visible physical characteristics.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course I know that individuals may
vary greatly, but taken on average, I believe there are distinct gender
differences and gender roles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know that each of God’s children has agency and that that agency is given and
honored by God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also know that
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church of Christ on
the earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know the prophets and
apostles will never lead us astray in a major or significant way that will harm
our chances for salvation or for understanding on topics of critical
importance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that gender,
family, and earthly responsibilities and duties are topics of critical
importance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe in the
Restoration, and in continuing revelation as described in the ninth article of
faith.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also believe that even if
new revelation may soon be forthcoming, we will do no wrong by abiding by the
revelation as it currently stands, and indeed are expected to obey the laws as
they have been given to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Nephites obeyed the law of Moses until it was fulfilled in Christ, even though
they knew there was a new covenant on the very near horizon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(3 Nephi 1:23-25)<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Beginning from these premises, I limit my speculation to
that which will fit in line with what we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have</i>
learned from the scriptures and from modern-day revelation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here are some points I have been
considering.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>1)</b><span style="font-weight: bold; font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Satan is a great imitator and perverter of truth.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The greater population of the world is
coming to accept doctrines that are partially true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s so easy for us humans, as children of God, to see and
feel truth that we occasionally run off with a partial truth that feels good
without making sure it’s true to the core.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my opinion, the idea that men and women are inherently
the same but for certain physical parts is an example of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The partial truth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>men and women are of equal value and
potential.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The untruth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>men and women, taken as a whole, have
the same characteristics and responsibilities and should have the same
roles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(We read in The Family, a
Proclamation to the World that “Gender is an essential characteristic of
individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meaning, to me, that I was a woman
before I had a body, and that that fact influences my purpose.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s another example:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Equal means identical in opportunity
and role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The truth:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>equal means having the same value, the
same access to the same amount of happiness, the same grace and forgiveness
through the Atonement, and the same eventual goal:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>becoming like God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
Not only that, Satan gives us counterfeits
of application beyond just counterfeits of doctrine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can’t even use the phrase “separate but equal” in my
argument, because of the horrible connotation that has of the evil perpetuated
on blacks in the last century.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(The difference here is that there is no difference beyond the physical
between black people and white people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There are plenty of differences between men and women that go beyond the
physical).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For another example,
compare the counterfeit of socialism (consistently seen to fail and to limit
the agency of Heavenly Father’s children) to the true ideal of a Zion people.<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2) It is easy to come to incorrect conclusions
if we do not check our premises</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A year ago, Elder Holland addressed this so touchingly in General
Conference.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">When
problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying
how much you do not have, leading as it were with your ‘unbelief.’ That is like
trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am
not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true
to the faith you do have.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Questions
arise for all of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
normal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Weaknesses are not given
to us so we can feel guilty about them and hide them and pretend to be better
and more faithful than we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Weaknesses are given to us (were given to us by Christ, let’s remember
that) so that we “</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble
themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith
in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Ether 12:27).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having questions is part of the
plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the idea is to address
the questions we have within the frame of reference we’ve already developed,
not to clear the decks, throw out all the old evidence, and start all over
every time something new comes along that distresses us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Begin with what you know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, check what you think you know to
make sure it is actually true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Compare your premises to revealed doctrine and scriptural teachings.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask in prayer if every one of your
starting points is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Make sure
your premises are correct or your conclusions may not be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3) It is easy to let terminology get in the
way of our understanding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Ever
since the tower of Babel, we speak in imperfect language—and by we I mean
everyone in the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our words
aren’t powerful the way God’s words are powerful, and often that means we are
stuck trying to describe something that is difficult or impossible to get
across in human language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s
one reason we need the Holy Ghost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m afraid that sometimes the necessarily imperfect terminology that we
use gets in the way of our understanding critical points of doctrine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me give you three examples of
this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
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a.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>The Relief Society. We know from Joseph Smith’s words in the early meetings of the Relief Society that this is a grand organization with a grand scope. It existed in Christ’s original church. It is clearly much more than homemaking night and super Saturday and even much more than a wonderful opportunity for women to learn from other women, as uplifting and enlightening our Sunday lessons may be. Are we overlooking the gift and power given to us in Relief Society because of the terminology? Are we looking “beyond the mark” for something to get ordained to when the Lord has provided us a divine organization that offers us ample opportunities to learn, grow and serve? We may be missing what’s right in front of us because we are not “living up to our privileges,” and instead mistaking a divine organization for a nice little club that teaches us how to make chintzy crafts and occasionally does service projects. </div>
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b.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>It is all too painfully common to hear Church leaders speak of priesthood holders as “the priesthood.” This is not the case: they are not the priesthood, they hold priesthood authority. The power of the priesthood is available to all of us. In her book <i>Women and the Priesthood: What One Mormon Woman Believes</i>, Sherri Dew describes her frustration with the phrase, “not having the priesthood in your home.” She feels strongly that not having a priesthood holder in her home does not limit her access to the blessings and power of the priesthood, even in her home. </div>
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c.<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';"> </span>The fact that we have a word and a system of ordination for the power men possess, while there is none for the power women posses, tends to be misleading. However, we often hear things like this in General Conference (<i>too often, in my opinion</i>, for it to be mere conciliatory speech or human speculation on the part of general authorities): “God placed within women divine qualities of strength, virtue, love, and the willingness to sacrifice to raise future generations of His spirit children.” (Elder Cook, “LDS Women are Incredible!”) We are so frequently told we are by nature more charitable, more eager to do service, more faithful and devoted than our brothers. I understand this can have a sting of superciliousness or false flattery to some women. I agree that it doesn’t really fit with my belief in the equality of men and women. However. Let me submit my own idea here: these words about being given divine qualities may be referring to a power given to women, complimentary to the power being given now to men. What if all we’re missing is the terminology? We women don’t get ordained to any sort of power in this life, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t given to us at some point. I believe that our Heavenly Mother is immensely powerful, and in order to be like her I must be immensely powerful too (I don’t believe that power is necessarily priesthood power as it is now given to men, but I’ll get to that in point 7). If that power isn’t being given to me in this life, well then one of three options remains to me: it was given to me before I came to earth, I am expected to develop it on my own, or it will yet be given to me after this life. I don’t yet have a clear guess about which of these options it is. </div>
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<b>4) Creation keys exist</b>. This one is mostly my own speculation, but speaking of things that may or may not have been given to women in the pre-earth life, let us not fail to mention the power of creation. I thought it was very significant that during his talk in the Priesthood Session of General Conference, Elder Oaks mentioned that among the priesthood keys not available to us on the earth are the keys of creation, thus identifying creation as a priesthood power. However, the <i>power</i> of creation is very clearly available to us on earth. This applies widely to all God’s children, as in the sense President Uchtdorf employed in his October 2008 talk, “Happiness, Your Heritage”: “The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.” However, it also applies, in a very specific sense, to women alone. When I was younger I understood procreation to be a power shared equally by men and women. But when I became pregnant with my first child and saw the changes in my own body and thought more deeply about the process, I had a grand realization. While my husband was a necessary and absolutely critical part of the procreative process and I could not have begun it without him, after providing half of our child’s DNA his role in physical creation was over. And that is where my body took over in the most miraculous way. Every nutrient, every molecule that went into the building of the mortal body of a new human being, passed through my body first. My body, without any effort or know-how on my part, effectively nourished, protected, and built another human body. And not just up until birth, after birth while my son was still exclusively breast-fed. And, in another sense, I continue to nourish, protect and build his body as I feed, clothe and snuggle it. None of us possess perfect bodies (yet) but the vast majority of God’s daughters are able to do all or part of this at least once. (Certainly a greater percentage of God’s daughters on earth are able to bear children than the percentage of God’s sons on earth who are able to bear the priesthood). THIS IS AN ASTOUNDING POWER. And, in the words of Elder Oaks, “What other power could it be [than priesthood power]?” If one is looking for a power given to women in the pre-earth life, conceiving, bearing and nursing a child might be a good place to begin. Scientific findings about mothers (like <a href="http://www.womeninthescriptures.com/2013/06/the-matriarchal-order.html">this</a> and <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/02/12/fetal-cells-repair-strokes/5412383/">this</a>) seem to me to be further symbolic of the essential and divine role of mothers. I do not intend to intimate that a woman’s only value or role is her ability to bear children. I do not imagine anyone has ever hinted that a man’s only value or role is his ability to hold the priesthood, either.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><b>5) Phy</b></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">sical power, in the Gospel sense, is
no less valuable than a spiritual power.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In order to consider this clearly, we need to revisit point
number 1 for a moment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of
Satan’s great perversions of truth have to do with our bodies and their
value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Gospel teaches us that
our bodies have immense value, that they are particular gifts from God, that we
need bodies to become like Him, and that at the news we could receive them we
“shouted for joy”!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it also teaches
that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">we are not our bodies</i>, that we
existed before we possessed them and will continue to exist though separated
from them at death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Gospel
teaches that our bodies have great value but that our personal value is not
based on our bodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Satan would
have us believe one of two extremes regarding our bodies:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>either that our value is based solely
on our bodies, or that our bodies are not valuable at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We see the first on the covers of
celebrity magazines, we see the second in Hellenistic philosophies such as
Gnosticism and asceticism that are perpetuated even today in various schools of
religious thought, in and out of the Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because we know all to well Satan’s counterfeit application
of our bodies’ value (that people, and particularly women, are valuable only
for our bodies) we as women and supporters of women are inclined to cry foul
when we see any hint that a woman’s role may involve her body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as with most of Satan’s fallacies,
his emphasis on the value of women’s bodies is a perversion of truth and based
(however remotely) in truth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Women’s bodies ARE MIRACULOUS.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They have great value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
are critical in women’s earthly purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Actually, all of our bodies are miraculous. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>T<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Times; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">hink of Christ’s body. Those who administered
to him during mortality were administering to the very body that he would lay
down for our sins, and that he would later take up again, providing
resurrection for all mankind. A huge part of Christ’s role on the earth
hung on the fact that his <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">body</i> was
unique—that it could bear immense pain and suffering without involuntary
death.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to me that the creation,
care, keeping, and health of bodies, such a pivotal part of the Plan, would be
very important. Indeed, aren’t all of our bodies as important as our
spirits? The goal of the whole Plan is for us to become like God.
And God has a body and a spirit, perfectly and forever joined together in
eternal life. Gaining a body was a huge part of why we came to earth, and
why we are told we rejoiced when we heard of the Plan! Paul emphasized
the importance of the Resurrection (and our bodies) to the Corinthians: “If in
this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. And if
Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, …And if Christ be not raised,
your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.”</span></div>
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Without bodies, nothing, not our prayers, not our efforts, not sacred
ordinances, not even Christ’s Atonement for our sins, would be adequate for
salvation, because we would still, without bodies, be unable to become like
God. “O the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace! For behold, if the flesh
should rise no more our spirits must become subject to that angel who fell from
before the presence of the Eternal God, and became the devil, to rise no more” (2 Ne. 9:8). Without
our bodies, we are left no better than those spirits who did not keep their
first estate and never got to life on earth at all. </div>
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We are told today that our bodies are
temples. Many of the commandments we are given are related to their care
and keeping – how we are to clothe them, how much to let them rest, what to
feed them (and what not to feed them), what words to let them speak, not to
mention the sacred controls that are placed upon the creation or destruction of
bodies. Doesn’t it seem like the Lord loves our bodies and wants us to
love them, too? These are not temporary vehicles for our life on
earth. These are the very imperfect seeds of the perfected souls that we
are to become. Same bodies; made perfect, but same bodies
nonetheless. If our bodies are perfectly half of our souls, and Christ’s
Resurrection was perfectly half of the great Atonement process (mirrored by the
spiritual half in the Garden of Gethsemane), then the creation, mastery, care,
keeping, and service of our bodies <i>and the bodies of others</i> must surely
be a noble endeavor indeed. It’s the same kind of work, with the
same goal, as service to the spirits of others. Sometimes it can be the
same thing entirely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To me,
suggesting that a major (note I do not say THE major or THE ONLY)
responsibility of men is overseeing spiritual growth and development while a
major responsibility of women is overseeing physical growth and development is
not demeaning, it is a beautiful example of the opposition in all things and a
type of the Atonement itself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><br /></span></span></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6) O</span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">ur agency is inherently limited.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has given us a wonderful world full
of choices and the precious agency to choose between them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has not, however, given us the
agency to choose <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything we please</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it’s not one of the options, it’s
not one of the options.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are the
children and He is the parent and he chooses what options are set before
us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can ask for another option
if we want, but that doesn’t mean it will be granted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Asking to be received into His kingdom without doing the
necessary work and while partying merrily away in Babylon will be futile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Similarly, no matter how great your
desire, I don’t think you’d be suddenly turned into a bird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some options are not on the table.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is why I think that complaining
about your gender role in life is futile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is who you are, and there are things that you’re meant to be
doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe we should seek all
the personal revelation we can get to find out what exactly those things are,
and become familiar with God’s personal plan for us as individuals, but we
should also not complain if His will for us as individuals does not include
some of the things we hoped it might.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I have heard a mother say to her children, “you get what you get and
you don’t throw a fit.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ask for
more options, but don’t insist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This, I believe, is part of becoming “as a child… willing to submit to
all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child does
submit to his father.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"><br /></span></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7) T</span></span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">he Priesthood that is on the earth is the
power that belongs to Jesus Christ.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have heard voiced a concern that women are to become like God just as
much as men, and if the priesthood is the power of God (whom we understand to
be a male/female union) then women need the priesthood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let me suggest a possible
response:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what if the priesthood
we have now only represents a part of the power of God the Parents?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now that I write it, it seems more
likely than not, actually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
certainly know (see Elder Oaks’ Priesthood Session talk) there are keys of the
priesthood that aren’t currently on earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know the priesthood is the “power of God given to man on
earth” but the true name of the higher priesthood indicates that it is the
power of Jesus Christ (who is God).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because He is God the Son, I imagine his power must have been
given/delegated to/shared with Him by God the Father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jesus is male; maybe the part of the heavenly power we have
on the earth, because it is Jesus’ power, is the part given to males to bear?
If there was or is yet to be a power given to women (see point 3.c.), it may
perhaps be called after our Heavenly Mother, or modeled after Her example.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You see the pattern I’m suggesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe men hold the priesthood because
the portion of God’s power that we have currently on this earth is a man’s
portion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is of course my own
wild speculation, but I don’t think it is too far-fetched to be worth
considering.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b>8) T</b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">he Servant/King Paradox.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christ himself said that one “who is
greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matt. 23:11).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We do not worship Christ for the
miracles he performed—many prophets throughout the ages have performed
miracles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We worship Christ for
the unimaginably selfless service he did for mankind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Humility and service are the marks of greatness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And each of us has opportunities to
serve, regardless of priesthood ordination.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harold B. Lee said, <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">“The most important of the
Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do think the Lord approves of honest
ambition to learn, grow and develop, but President Boyd K. Packer also tells
us, “Do not ever belittle anyone, including yourself, nor count them, or you, a
failure, if your livelihood has been modest. Do not ever look down on those who
labor in occupations of lower income. There is great dignity and worth in any
honest occupation. Do not use the word menial for any labor that improves the
world or the people who live in it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There is no shame in any honorable work.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know that all honorable work is worthwhile, and we know
where the most important work is to be found.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is usually time for all kinds of work in this
lifetime, but because our lifespans are very limited, we are told “do not
spend… your labor for that which cannot satisfy.” (2 Nephi 9:51).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are given priorities for our work,
and families are first on the list.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Do we really believe that the family is central to God’s plan, that it
is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the</i> fundamental unit in time and
eternity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Church is not
eternal—families are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Service to
our families and those of others is the most accessible and efficient way we
can bring souls to Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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We
know that service is what makes someone great and that families are the most
important place to spend our service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do not say that service in the family is a woman’s only role, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">if it were—what would be so very wrong with
that?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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I am
currently a stay-at-home mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I never get to do anything else, that would be disappointing to me,
but I don’t think it would ruin anything in the greater plan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beyond feeling sorrow for my
disappointment, I don’t think it would matter very much to God, who I believe
cares more about the order of our priorities and the manner in which we do our
work and the kind of people we become than what particular earthly opportunities
we might have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9) This life is the time to prepare to meet
God.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this most recent
General Conference, Bishop Gary E. Stevenson gave a talk that relied heavily on
the symbolism of Olympic athletes’ brief performances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In it he said, “<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">You are an eternal
being. Before you were born, you existed as a spirit. In the presence of a
loving Heavenly Father, you trained and prepared to come to earth for a brief
moment and, well, perform. This life is your four minutes. While you are here,
your actions will determine whether you win the prize of eternal life. The
prophet Amulek described, “This life is the time … to prepare to meet God;
yea, behold the day of this life is the day … to perform [your] labors.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mortality is a brief, brief blip on the
grand timeline of our eternal lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>4 minutes seems a good approximation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Lord has given to us a beautiful, vibrant, and
scientifically and culturally fascinating planet on which to “work out our
salvation,” and I believe he expects us to experience and enjoy what there is
to experience and enjoy here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
I think He doesn’t lose sight of the real goal of this life, which is to prove
ourselves, receive bodies, form families, and become like God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we’re doing or trying to do those
things, I don’t think it matters to Him (again, beyond sorrowing with us for
our personal disappointments) if we got to see the Taj Mahal, hold the
priesthood (as women) or even be</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">ar our own biological children. Amulek, who was just quoted with regard
to the purpose of this life, learned that all too well. Just a few chapters later he is forced
to watch as all the believers among his people are burned to death. When Amulek wishes to stop this by the
power of God, Alma tells him, “</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">The Spirit constraineth me that I
must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto
himself, in</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;"> </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">glory</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">; and he doth suffer that
they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them,
according to the hardness of their hearts, that the </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">judgments</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">
which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">blood</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">
of the </span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">innocent</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">
shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at
the last day.” These people <i>were already</i> prepared to meet God, so to
God their “premature” death was not as much of a tragedy as it might seem to
us. This is the same God we deal
with today. There is a purpose to
our life on earth. Within our
4-minute mortality, we are each given ample time an</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">d enough opportunities to
fulfill this purpose as much as is individually necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we are trying to fulfill our purposes, everything else we
may get to do is just extra.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">I don’t know all of this is true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Lucida Grande"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">Some things I do know, and many of
those I have already stated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
also know that what God says about his ways is true:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt;">For my thoughts <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">are</span>
not your thoughts, neither <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">are</span>
your ways my ways, saith the Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>For <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">as</span> the heavens are
higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts
than your thoughts.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understand
a very small part of the Gospel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So when I come upon something new that I don’t understand or that doesn’t
seem to fit, I am inclined to think the flaw is with my own understanding and
not with the Lord’s Gospel, or with His Church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they announce tomorrow that women will be ordained to the
priesthood, I hope I will have faith enough to scratch my previous theories and
start back at what I already know for certain. </span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-1409342673558667492013-11-19T17:52:00.001-08:002013-11-19T17:52:23.079-08:00This is my real life.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0asXbudMUhH7Bl7RxmfSBwanTaZBzq_qMEMtqorn9TOprlWqjg6KjRMxoQ8OCAQVpX34BUVU_mH990ZpNPy7yhlHj73u_kLDVOp6eNTtIeMivGUxZnG94L8tw30N35GWeSWJLAt8fT5M/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-11-19+at+8.45.52+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0asXbudMUhH7Bl7RxmfSBwanTaZBzq_qMEMtqorn9TOprlWqjg6KjRMxoQ8OCAQVpX34BUVU_mH990ZpNPy7yhlHj73u_kLDVOp6eNTtIeMivGUxZnG94L8tw30N35GWeSWJLAt8fT5M/s640/Screen+shot+2013-11-19+at+8.45.52+PM.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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Nailed it. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-37491291520802484092013-11-15T07:29:00.000-08:002013-11-15T07:29:18.555-08:00Kid bragging<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Let me talk about my kid for a minute: he's the best and we're so glad he's ours. It makes me sad to think that someday I'm going to have to stop having babies. It's basically my favorite pastime. </div>
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Last Tuesday the election people gave him an "I voted" sticker which provided the afternoon's entertainment. </div>
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Looking out the window. Major bonus points if anyone's out there walking their dog. </div>
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Our ottoman = Eli's personal stone of Sisyphus.</div>
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The other day he brought me one shoe and so I put it on him. He seemed pretty pleased with that and didn't seem to care at all about the other one, but walked around with one shoe on all morning.</div>
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This is the most hilarious Romanian/Bolivian? sweater of all time. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnMPLvpiRV2sIsrpXscUK1KnNMZCxkSixLc8lgp65Me5qv2TaKgQIewqOqRm5PQJXcxQsE-MxWeu0Frk498X_zN-MUtUqHdAZrcf1Fw0zd2qritpnvq_0hu69xKh0CqdsGMJYoqXUYZfM/s1600/IMG_20131114_134521.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnMPLvpiRV2sIsrpXscUK1KnNMZCxkSixLc8lgp65Me5qv2TaKgQIewqOqRm5PQJXcxQsE-MxWeu0Frk498X_zN-MUtUqHdAZrcf1Fw0zd2qritpnvq_0hu69xKh0CqdsGMJYoqXUYZfM/s320/IMG_20131114_134521.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Yesterday at a restaurant he abruptly started coloring. I've colored with him like exactly 3 times and I had no idea he had grasped the idea. But he very pointedly handed me the paper to open, then grabbed a crayon (by the proper end!!) and began tapping/drawing lines. Pretty impressive.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsu-5rsMW2a2tBS9vbrbbPhnhVPqUvaI52IHLMsgE3AIVAyGsbtf65fXRivVzhCdpY_rw7qGBGEhiAg7H4QTKqYNbWM-IdDLpDO3cLalNDHlGenpfsuin6Ze1y8I36pdpF3hMSZUKK6Lc/s1600/IMG_20131115_082835.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsu-5rsMW2a2tBS9vbrbbPhnhVPqUvaI52IHLMsgE3AIVAyGsbtf65fXRivVzhCdpY_rw7qGBGEhiAg7H4QTKqYNbWM-IdDLpDO3cLalNDHlGenpfsuin6Ze1y8I36pdpF3hMSZUKK6Lc/s320/IMG_20131115_082835.jpg" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJyEtnEeYqAY4qRYT7oC0OybkNCVH8KNoujc1C_n13WUqIETd1uYpaRMKZIIh2hPQeBeYAhuCWiyTl1tecZgdy7x2scWQFggf6L3bqg7rzwkyH3DsefQPe4fLOZluzJ2OePNGlugYnF8/s1600/IMG_20131115_082657.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihJyEtnEeYqAY4qRYT7oC0OybkNCVH8KNoujc1C_n13WUqIETd1uYpaRMKZIIh2hPQeBeYAhuCWiyTl1tecZgdy7x2scWQFggf6L3bqg7rzwkyH3DsefQPe4fLOZluzJ2OePNGlugYnF8/s320/IMG_20131115_082657.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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He has also figured out what a phone is for, and it's kind of hilarious to see him walking around babbling with my old cell phone next to his ear. </div>
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I thought he was fun as a baby, but this just keeps getting better and better. I want to have <i>at least</i> 8 more of these. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-2664340877022431222013-11-12T19:08:00.005-08:002013-11-12T19:57:34.740-08:00I wish Aunt Jemima were my real aunt<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Because in an it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time moment that I am going to blame on pregnancy and hunger and low blood sugar and the current phase of the moon, I accidentally made 21 waffles tonight. <br />
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Am I the only one who was embarrassed to tell anyone they thought Legolas was hot when they saw the first Lord of the Rings movie? Because I totally thought he was so attractive but it was a little weird because he... had long blond hair. And then when I figured out he was a well-known actor that was widely considered to be attractive, I was super relieved. And I kind of felt like I was leading the pack! <br />
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Speaking of leading the pack, I have zero fashion radar. I think in heaven when they were giving out fashion radar I accidentally lunchtime-swapped my fashion radar for grammar nazi radar. Apparently, not knowing how mortality was going to be, this seemed like a good idea. I'm kind of mad at myself now. <br />
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So, occasionally I see something fashionable that I also think I would actually wear. Then I either a) figure I'll get around to it the next time I feel like I can spend money on clothes, or b) worry that it will be gone by then and find a way to purchase it much sooner than that. Usually a. Curiously, every time I pick a, the trend doesn't hang around that long, and I'm out of luck (for clarity: not because I wouldn't wear it if it were out of style. HA like I care, even when I totally should. Because it being out of style makes it much harder to buy). But every time I pick b, I end up seeing these clothes (that I was so anxious to get to avoid an a situation) hanging around in stores for like <i>years to come</i>. And cheaper than when I bought them. How do people figure out this stuff, anyway? What is wrong with me?? Is it because I swapped my fashion radar for a mess of punctuation, or should I be reading celebrity magazines? Because I DO! <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">But only to see more pictures of Kate Middleton/the royal baby. </span><br />
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Please let me know if you find an answer to this. I'll be the one wearing sweatpants + no makeup at the grocery store. (happysad that What Not To Wear is over. I'll miss the free advice, but now I can stop living in fear). <br />
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In the mean time, I'll be consoling myself with my freezer full of homemade Eggos. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-45627238955453790292013-11-11T18:08:00.003-08:002013-11-11T18:15:21.207-08:00Haul out the holly<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
None of what you are about to read is not shameless self-justification. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">Then again, basically this entire blog is shameless, so no one should be like really surprised by that.</span><br />
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It's Christmas at our house. I have a new pine-scented candle and Christmas carols are on nonstop (I recommend She & Him Holiday on Pandora. All the classics, plus Zooey Deschanel should be canonized or something). We already have our tickets to see The Nutcracker the night <i>before</i> Thanksgiving (what can I say, it was like $25 cheaper that way). Last year, I might have cared. This year I couldn't care less. Or be more excited. </div>
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I used to be one of those Scrooges that says Thanksgiving is an important holiday too, and just because it's not commercialized doesn't mean we can forget to be grateful for everything we have, and also Thanksgiving is a beautiful fall and harvest festival that's fun to celebrate on its own. But, let's be real. It isn't. It's not fun to celebrate it on its own. There are no Thanksgiving carols. And even here on the edge of the South where autumn lasts for like 2 full months, the leaves are almost done turning and it is getting downright cold and there is nothing autumn-y to celebrate anymore. There is just the chance that it will snow tomorrow (!!! I'm probably the only one in the greater D.C. area who is remotely happy about this) which obviously means it's time to get rid of the apple spice candle and start thinking in terms of twinkle lights. Everywhere. </div>
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It is winter. Therefore, it is Christmas (I've found that this philosophy holds up slightly less well in February, but not for lack of trying on my part). Additionally, wait till you hear the stellar justification I have for the gratitude part of the holiday. What better way to prepare children (and okay, ourselves) for Christmas than to remember to be grateful for the things we already have? I know. It's good, right? We'll just make Thanksgiving part of the Christmas season. No loss there. </div>
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Plus, can we all agree that decorating your house for Thanksgiving (unless you live at Pottery Barn, in which case, can I move in with you?) usually looks super tacky, because turkeys are not beautiful either alive or dead (can we talk about that for a minute? When was the last time you saw a wild turkey in real life? They have an eerie ability to make those National Geographic pictures of birds of paradise seem not that outlandish at all. Talk about FLK). <br />
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Besides, I <i>need a little Christmas</i>. Between Colby spending lotsa time on applications and my failed attempt at NaNoWriMo (by attempt I mean all I did was sign up, but baby steps right? Sorry Tina, I swear I had the best of intentions. But nothing to say. How's yours going?) and actually nothing is really wrong I just want to celebrate something. </div>
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Anyway, we're probably just going out to eat on Thanksgiving anyway, so let's just skip the hype, shall we? </div>
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In sum: Besides the family and the food, Thanksgiving is not fun. Okay, gratitude is good too I guess. </div>
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But let's move on with Christmas. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-62749324710027183092013-11-07T11:56:00.004-08:002013-11-09T09:08:03.336-08:00Service<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I’ve been doing a lot of
thinking about women in the Lord’s Kingdom. There are so many women who are dissatisfied with their
roles or perceived roles, and I have been interested as I follow the actions of
some recent feminist groups within the Church. There seems to be a lot of real pain, and I think my
interest started as I tried to explain to myself why, when I live in the same
culture and community as these women and encounter the same types of
situations, I wasn’t concerned or in pain. After a lot of thought and some prayer, I reached/was given the conclusion: It’s a
blessing. Of all of my weaknesses
and the things I do struggle with, this simply isn’t one of them. And I am sure that I have weaknesses
and struggles that are not shared by these women whose stories I read. I don’t think it’s necessarily because
I understand the Plan of Salvation particularly well, and I certainly don’t
think it’s because I’m more righteous than they are. I just have different trials. This maybe doesn’t seem very radical to anyone reading this,
but embarrassingly enough, it provided a needed paradigm shift for me. I think that with this particular
issue, as in most situations in life, charity and sympathy are paramount. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Anyway, I’ve spent a
little time this afternoon compiling some reading and thoughts and research
that I’ve been doing about service in the Kingdom and related topics, and here
it is.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Our bodies are as important as our spirits </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Think of
Christ’s body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those who
administered to him were administering to the very body that he would lay down
for our sins, and that he would later take up again, providing resurrection for
all mankind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems to me that
the care, keeping, and health of such a pivotal part of the Plan would be very
important.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Indeed, aren’t all of
our bodies as important as our spirits?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The goal of the whole Plan is for us to become like God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And God has a body and a spirit,
perfectly and forever joined together in eternal life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gaining a body was a huge part of why
we came to earth, and why we are told we rejoiced when we heard of the
Plan!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul emphasized the
importance of the Resurrection (and our bodies) to the Corinthians: “If in this
life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. And if
Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, …And if Christ be not raised,
your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Without
bodies, nothing, not our prayers, not our efforts, not sacred ordinances, not
even Christ’s Atonement for our sins, would be adequate for salvation, because
we would still, without bodies, be unable to become like God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“O the wisdom of God, his mercy and
grace! For behold, if the flesh should rise no more our spirits must become
subject to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
God, and
became the devil, to rise no more” (2 Ne. 9:8).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Without our bodies, we are left no better than those spirits
who did not keep their first estate and never got to life on earth at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
We are told
today that our bodies are temples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Many of the commandments we are given are related to their care and
keeping – how we are to clothe them, how much to let them rest, what to feed
them (and what not to feed them), what words to let them speak, not to mention
the sacred controls that are placed upon the creation or destruction of
bodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Doesn’t it seem like the
Lord loves our bodies and wants us to love them, too?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are not temporary vehicles for our life on earth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These are the very imperfect seeds of
the perfected souls that we are to become.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Same bodies; made perfect, but same bodies nonetheless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If our bodies are perfectly half of our
souls, and Christ’s Resurrection was perfectly half of the great Atonement
process (mirrored by the spiritual half in the Garden of Gethsemane), then the
creation, mastery, care, keeping, and service of our bodies <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and the bodies of others</i> must surely be
a noble endeavor indeed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s the same kind of work, with the same goal, as service to the
spirits of others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it
can be the same thing entirely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
C.S. Lewis wrote:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="color: #131313; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">“It is a serious thing to live in a
society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most
uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, If you saw it
now, you would be strongly tempted to worship… All day long we are, in some
degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in
the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection
proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another,
all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary
people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal,
and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we
joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Broken Bread</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Eli and I had bagels and
cream cheese for lunch today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I
was getting his ready, I looked down at my hands and was suddenly particularly
struck by what I was doing, tearing his bagel up into little, manageable pieces
for him to eat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">breaking bread</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a member of the church, this action
immediately had immense spiritual and cultural connotations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew I was in no way providing a
priesthood ordinance for my child, but the parallel symbols were too powerful
to ignore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Partaking of the
Sacrament feeds and strengthens our spirits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ordinary, physical food feeds and strengthens our
bodies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may not be for me to
break the bread of the Lord’s Supper, but it certainly can be for me to break
the bread for lunch for my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“And the
spirit and the body are the soul of man.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(D&C 88:15).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not
saying that eating is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">as important</i> as
taking the sacrament, but it certainly is important, and it certainly provides
a beautiful symbol, which it is certainly an honor and a blessing to
participate in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(I have similar
feelings about the symbolism of labor and childbirth, but I think I’d best save
those for another post).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Physical ministry</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
In the first
chapter of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Daughters in my Kingdom</i>
(stellar resource by the way!) we read about female disciples in the New
Testament.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was (and am) so
struck by all the opportunities women had to physically minister to the Lord
Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A woman bore Him, birthed
Him, and nursed Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We read in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Daughters in my Kingdom</i>: “It is likely
that [the women that travelled with Jesus and the Twelve] provided some
economic support for Jesus and His Apostles, along with service such as
cooking.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Martha received Him into
her home and cooked for Him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mary
Magdalene anointed Him with oil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Several women were on their way to anoint His dead body when they found
Him miraculously risen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Many of the
other New Testament examples of women involve physical ministry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dorcas was well known for making
clothes for the poor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul’s
illustration of a righteous widow is a woman very involved in physical
ministry:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well reported for good
works, if she have brought up children, if she have relieved the afflicted, if
she have diligently followed every good work.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I love the
story of Martha and Mary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the
Lord explains to Martha that Mary has “chosen that good part,” that one needful
thing, he is inviting her to partake of salvation as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I think it’s interesting that he
doesn’t (at least not that we have record of) ask her to stop cooking and sit
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had a body of flesh just
like we do – he was probably hungry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Someone has got to cook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am sure He was grateful for Martha’s sacrifice just as I am sure, lately, as I
devote so much time to keeping house and caring for family, that He is grateful
for mine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<b>Conclusion</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
Uniquely for
his time, Jesus invited the women he encountered to minister spiritually in
addition to physically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Daughters in my Kingdom</i>, “In an age when
women were generally expected to provide only temporal service, the Savior
taught Martha and Mary that women could also participate in salvation, ‘that
good part’ that would never be taken from them.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I am not
trying to suggest that physical ministry is or should be women’s only role.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not saying that physical ministry
belongs to women as spiritual ministry belongs to men. I am capable of so much
more than housework, and I know that, and I know that the Lord knows that. I
know that I am unique and valuable, and that my spiritual insights and
contributions to the Lord’s Church and Kingdom can be as valuable as anyone
else’s, if I work hard to study and learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also don’t believe that Priesthood service is the only way
to serve, nor do I believe that it always the best or most needed way to serve.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
I simply
think that, regardless of our position or power or authority or gender or
whatever, we should see more value in the good work that we do on a day-to-day
basis. Let’s not be so overly concerned with what we can and can’t do, what
tasks are or are not assigned to us, that we fail to see and take opportunities
to do what we can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s not be so
“careful and troubled” (note that the Greek translation in the footnote also
suggests “worried”) about so many things that we fail to see the symbolism, the
service, and the value inherent in the tasks that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> before us – the potentially-immortal bodies that we can create
and feed and clothe, or the bread we can break with those we love, or the smile
we can help put on another’s face, or the arm of friendship and welcome we can
extend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The soul that we can bring
closer to Christ (as we have been commanded to pray for opportunities to
do).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are so many ways of
bringing souls (bodies <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i> spirits)
closer to Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As many as there
are people on earth, I would imagine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess what I am trying to say is that all service is of value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are taught that there are no purely
temporal commandments, and I would extrapolate that to service, as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Service in the Kingdom is service in
the Kingdom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let’s try to see and
employ as many service opportunities as might fall within our spheres of
influence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s something that
we all can do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-57891297574840555672013-10-26T13:56:00.000-07:002013-11-07T11:54:40.269-08:00Wiping all the things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just wiped Eli's bum and then his nose and then I started to tell him why, because he doesn't enjoy either of those processes and I felt like I owed him an explanation. The only thing I came up with was I am doing this because I wipe ALL of your weird bodily fluids. He must think this is my favorite hobby. <br />
<br />
Speaking of hobbies, Eli's new favorite (besides being read to... I'll get into that in a moment) is not napping. Which is strange, because he's my child and my favorite hobby is ALL THE NAPPING. Apparently Mendelian genetics do not apply here. I think the no-napping thing is partially because he has decided that the time previously known as naptime shall now be fill-your-diaper time. Question:<br />
<br />
Is this:<br />
a) a good thing, because now that he associates defecating with one particular location, potty training will be easier<br />
b) not a good thing, because defecating in one's bedroom is unacceptable in most cultures<br />
c) also not a good thing, because it doesn't jive with my favorite hobby (see above)<br />
d) I can't answer this because I'm saying bad words in my head.<br />
<br />
Difficult to say. <br />
<br />
Don't worry, though, his first-favorite hobby is still reading. I mean, I would have said this was a good thing 2 months ago. Or 6 months, or 48 months, or whatever. I always hoped my children would love books. HOWEVER. Even the most bookish human being is bored witless after several rounds in the ring with Little Quack Counts. In a row. I mean, the kid could do this for hours! Which is actually real sweet, and you would think I would be thrilled by this. And I am. But sometimes I am also all - look, Eli! Sesame Street! Wouldn't you rather watch Sesame Street?<i> </i>And then I had a brilliant insight - <i>this is why Reading Rainbow was invented.</i> A TV show that will read to your children?? What happened to that show, anyway? Now that I really need it, there is no more butterfly in the sky. <br />
<br />
Speaking of reading, here he comes peeking over the kitchen table, holding up Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do You See? like his goblet of rock. (This is the usual request format.) Do I actually have to take the book from him or does it count if I just recite it from memory? More of life's persistent questions.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-52419304914914049882013-10-09T12:24:00.002-07:002013-10-09T12:24:12.380-07:00The story of my triumph<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We went camping last week, and took our bikes, and had a lovely time. Unfortunately, while we were biking, the rear-view mirror on my car gave up. It quit, it's a quitter. We came back to find it completely unglued from the windshield and swinging happily from a cord. I'm not really sure what could have happened to cause that, considering there was no impact, no pressure, and no force on the mirror. It was an unseasonably hot October day, but still. <br />
<br />
So, we drove all the way home without it. (By which I mean Colby drove all the way home. Go Colby! Doing what dads do best: all the driving. Also all the packing and unpacking. Woohoo!)<br />
<br />
Yesterday I took the car in to the shop to see what could be done about it. (Before you say anything snarky, let's remember that this is a story about my triumph, not about how it didn't first occur to me to fix it myself. HELLO, YOUR ARMS AREN'T PAINTED ON. I'm still a little bit frightened that it took me so long to realize this. How helpless am I??) They said that they had to order a special adhesive, and between the adhesive and the labor, it would cost $75 and it would be done by tomorrow. And inside I was like $75? Seriously? It will take you 2 minutes to super glue the thing back on. And outside I was like, okay, I'll bring it back tomorrow. BUT THEN. I drove away and decided to call a Subaru dealership to see how much it SHOULD cost me. He said "maybe 30 or 40 bucks if you take it to a glass-repair place." Ah-hah! So, not $75? I'm sitting in a parking lot near the car place while I make this call (safe driving practices, folks). Then I called a windshield repair place nearby. He told me that he could fix it but he didn't have the right "kit" and it was in someone's truck (real professional establishment, this) but he could do it tomorrow. So, I have to drive around with no mirror until tomorrow morning?<br />
<br />
And then the light began to dawn, and the clouds withdrew, and a beam of sunshine shone down on the storefront of Advance Auto Parts, which I was parked in front of. (It wasn't really like that, but go with me on this. Poetic license.) And I thought, wait. I can glue stuff. I'M SO GOOD AT GLUING STUFF! I've been gluing stuff since, like, the first grade! How much can this special glue cost, anyway? <br />
<br />
So I walk inside, and explain my problem to one of the ever so kind and helpful tough-looking men working there. He understands immediately and leads me over to a rack of special rear-view mirror adhesives. How much could it possibly cost?<br />
<br />
$5.29, it turns out. Including tax. <br />
<br />
So basically, they sold me some glue, told me how to use it, AND figured out how to take apart the mirror to prepare me to glue it back on. How I love that store and its helpful, tough-looking employees. <br />
<br />
The point is, I saved us seventy dollars. Well, actually, the point is, the guys at Advance Auto Parts saved us $70 because they're super helpful. The best part was that I got to go into Advance Auto Parts, and I completely love going to Advance Auto Parts, because nothing in the world (besides, perhaps, going to Home Depot) makes me feel more empowered and more capable and more, well, tough. LET'S DO THIS!!! Like the time I went to Home Depot the day before I went into labor with Eli. If you ever want to stick out in public, set foot in Home Depot as a 9-months-pregnant woman. But that's another story. <br />
<br />
That car place I first took the car to? Last month they told me it'll cost me $1200 to fix the air conditioner. I was already doubtful, but now I'm probably just going to go to Advance Auto Parts and fix it myself. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-8164088583760678512013-09-27T06:53:00.003-07:002013-09-27T06:54:30.051-07:00Permanence<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNHuDZaCYx_oQmvBxJ3Yfa98JSbLTj6OrKS2Y2szpGmct0KggdiITNGGmfrGdwZApde93juEX6k8L7Zpl2LWFHN3j4beAVa9_hDeHr9IQnb9OmrNP4KOxR-opgRLxKGqwrDPB6Zw63U_c/s1600/IMG_20130927_094159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNHuDZaCYx_oQmvBxJ3Yfa98JSbLTj6OrKS2Y2szpGmct0KggdiITNGGmfrGdwZApde93juEX6k8L7Zpl2LWFHN3j4beAVa9_hDeHr9IQnb9OmrNP4KOxR-opgRLxKGqwrDPB6Zw63U_c/s320/IMG_20130927_094159.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
I was sitting at the table this morning and Eli came over and stood on his tiptoes to pull a notebook off of the table. I handed it down to him, a spiral-bound thing that I got out recently to reuse but that has notes in it from my freshman year of college. He was totally delighted, touching and drooling and talking to himself, opening and closing the cover and experimenting with taking large bites out of the loose leaves inside. <br />
Suddenly I caught a glimpse of my handwriting inside the notebook. I thought about freshman year, about who I was then. That was a precious time of my life, full of priceless memories, and such a part of who I am. And I almost stopped him. I thought, <i>wait! Don't destroy that! Don't take away that part of me!</i><br />
Which, when I came to myself, was silly, because tearing up an old notebook doesn't take anything away from my life. But I realized that this is what the world teaches about children. That when you have them they take over your life, erase your Self, fill up your whole person with motherhood until there's nothing left that's individual. That you'll never have your body back, your career back, your life back, your SELF back. <br />
It's not true, and I was reminded of that this morning. <br />
New life never destroys, never takes away. Babies can only build. He voluntarily came and gave me a hug a few minutes later. He loves me. All my memories, all my experiences make me who I am, and now I am his mother, and whether he knows it or not, what he loves is the conglomerate. All I have done is add - add a human to the world, add love to my life, add joy and discovery and meaning, add strength and wisdom and talents, and add "mother" to the list of words that describe who I am. And who I am continues. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-60835977551139056612013-08-14T18:06:00.000-07:002013-08-14T18:06:54.122-07:00The Serious Voice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My baby is pretty little. He's too little to really be able to do anything to make me very angry, and certainly not intentionally. Sometimes I find that I have to gently punish him, but without fail it's because he did something either hurtful or dangerous, to him or me or others, and I need to teach him not to do it again. In fact, when I have to punish him, I'm usually so NOT angry that I have to fake this "serious voice," and I feel like I sound really silly, but I want him, in all his littleness, to understand how serious I am. <br />
<br />
I was reading the scriptures this afternoon, and the Lord was making some pretty severe threats. The Jehovah we see in the Old Testament seems to be pretty severe, and there are other places in the scriptures that His words seem to take a very serious tone. Sometimes I have wondered how these threats and punishments can possibly come from the God we know, who we know to be kind and loving and merciful and tender. <br />
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But then, remembering grabbing Eli away from the kitchen garbage for the umpteenth time this morning, I realized. It's entirely possible that when the Lord says something like this: "In my fierce anger will I visit them in their iniquities and abominations... It shall come to pass that this generation, because of their iniquities, shall be brought into bondage, and shall be smitten on the cheek; yea, and shall be driven by men, and shall be slain; and the vultures of the air, and the dogs, yea, and the wild beasts, shall devour their flesh," he's not being vengeful. Actually, to me, it's more than possible, it's what I believe to be true. Because God is perfect, and even though I do sometimes get mad at Eli unnecessarily, God would not, and does not. God does not take things personally, and God does not like to punish his children. His threats aren't just-give-me-a-reason-to-do-it threats. <b>This is the serious voice. </b><br />
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And here's the serious voice again: "Therefore I command you to repent--repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore--how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not." That's less a threat than a plea. From a Father who wants his children, even though they're very little and may not really understand everything he tells them, to understand the gravity of the situation and learn not to disobey. <br />
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Love and chastening, justice and mercy. The older I get, the less they seem like opposites and the more they seem like twins. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-5477621181067434162013-08-12T18:14:00.002-07:002013-08-14T06:12:26.726-07:00Nobel Prizes and Naptime<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgByLnmi6msz5zI5A01ygnWceRCi6v3iuAVGChcqmqtrSEg6LcV5rBizs4AyguxlZVSvEMktX7KQck1K4ShMRMPTiYMPtnJYUjM8mf1si-ZnLDtbMYzXmk-eTjK_TzAUiYi0aAcIeZgmYg/s1600/IMG_20130617_080054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/physics/laureates/1933/schrodinger.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/physics/laureates/1933/schrodinger.jpg" title="This guy knows. I mean, just look at those glasses." width="142" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: none; color: black;"></span></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgByLnmi6msz5zI5A01ygnWceRCi6v3iuAVGChcqmqtrSEg6LcV5rBizs4AyguxlZVSvEMktX7KQck1K4ShMRMPTiYMPtnJYUjM8mf1si-ZnLDtbMYzXmk-eTjK_TzAUiYi0aAcIeZgmYg/s1600/IMG_20130617_080054.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgByLnmi6msz5zI5A01ygnWceRCi6v3iuAVGChcqmqtrSEg6LcV5rBizs4AyguxlZVSvEMktX7KQck1K4ShMRMPTiYMPtnJYUjM8mf1si-ZnLDtbMYzXmk-eTjK_TzAUiYi0aAcIeZgmYg/s200/IMG_20130617_080054.jpg" title="See? Not sleeping." width="150" /></a></div>
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I was going to write about my baby and his sleeping habits, but first let's wish a happy birthday to the man of the hour, Erwin Rudolf Joseph Alexander Schroedinger (his cleverness was directly proportional to the number of names he had. Clearly).</div>
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In case you weren't paying attention in Quantum Physics 101, this guy basically wrote the book (the one you didn't get at the bookstore because you weren't paying attention and you didn't read the syllabus). He's the one that discovered (decided?) that electrons can be in particle form or energy form, forever confusing every student that ever took Physical Science 100. He's most famous for his Wave Equation, among those in the know, but the rest of us know him for his thought experiment, <i>Schroedinger's Cat</i>. According to TIME: <br />
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Put a cat in a box, he proposed, and rig up a Rube Goldberg contraption involving a hammer, a vial of poison and a quantum triggering device. If an electron is in one position, the hammer will remain safely cocked. But if the electron moves into the opposite location, the hammer will drop, smashing the vial and killing the cat.</div>
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The laws of quantum mechanics hold that as long as the electron remains undisturbed, it hangs in limbo, occupying both its possible states. The cat, by extension, is both dead and alive.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Let me add, though, that if you opened the box, you would find <i>either</i> a dead cat or a live cat, not a living-dead zombie cat. I'm not sure because Chem 106 was a long time ago, but I think this has something to do with another clever idea: The Observer Effect. Which basically says that you can't measure something without the outcome being changed by your measurement. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Which brings me to my point: naptime. My child also happens to be simultaneously pure mass and pure energy, so I unfortunately never know, at any given moment during the time he is in his crib, whether he is asleep or not. And I can't go in to check on him without altering the system. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; line-height: normal;">I'm pretty sure that before I check on him, he's not simultaneously asleep and awake, but it's hard to say. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-family: Times;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; line-height: normal;">I think about this a lot. </span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-49191051344609487482013-08-09T13:07:00.002-07:002013-08-09T13:07:30.697-07:00The Gift of the Davises<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday afternoon I decided to go to the grocery store to get another gallon of milk for Colby. This was a gesture of love because that man loves his breakfast cereal. In a very O. Henry turn of events, Eli and I left the house right as Colby was coming home early from work, to surprise me. He called when I was in the checkout line. I heard his voice and I got flustered. When he said he was at home, I got even more excited. I got so excited I walked out of the store without my gallon of milk. Then, when I remembered to go back for my groceries, I left my wallet and keys in the shopping cart. <br />
You know what that's called? True love. <br />
Either that, or it's called you need to get your act together. I'm not sure but I'm going with the first one. <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-26940103421738179192013-08-06T17:08:00.000-07:002013-08-06T17:08:42.857-07:00Black swans and graham crackers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Yesterday I made an awesome checklist of my goals. It included things I want to get done daily, weekly, and every other week. I got so excited I went and bought printer cartridges so I could print it out so I could check some boxes. So now you know I was serious. <br />
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Have you ever noticed that every time you start a new exercise routine, the first day goes like super well and you are thinking about signing up for an ultra marathon because hello, you're unstoppable, and a credit to your home planet of earth, and then the second day comes around like a giant black swan and beats you to death like that one ancestor of mine, and sends you scrounging in the pantry for something halfway sweet because you ate all the cookies by 10am but all you can come up with is graham crackers, so you're dopey and zombie-like and energy-less and all you can do about it is eat <i>graham crackers</i>. <br />
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Anyway, that happened with my checklist today. And also the cookie part. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: xx-small;">(um, <a href="http://www.poets.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/15535">sorry</a>, Colby.)</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-21636908268709681242013-06-12T19:57:00.002-07:002013-06-12T19:57:32.223-07:00It's always so nice to find money in the couch cushions.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I found a cheerio. <br />
Ah, motherhood. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-48725178307227270222013-04-01T10:08:00.001-07:002013-04-01T10:08:10.155-07:00Mortality is better than everyone is making it sound<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I'd just like to add my piece to the internet, today. It's a piece of happiness, and mindfulness, and slowing down and making do and minding your own business and enjoying what's happening. Because lately facebook (and the world) is full of cynicism and anger and making fun of people and questionable morals and confused crusaders and bad grammar. So there you go. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-75321805386707588652013-02-16T05:27:00.001-08:002013-02-16T05:27:14.812-08:00The Inferno: the 10th circle<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Imagine being a little boy who has recently mastered the use of his hands. See that incredibly tempting and awesome, probably really-good-for-gnawing-on, little green dinosaur at the top of the yellow arch? <div>
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It doesn't come off. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-66785564093055572962013-01-17T13:52:00.001-08:002013-01-17T18:30:46.929-08:00"Science Experiments You Can Do At Home" or, "Cleaning Out The Fridge"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I swear I've never let a fridge get this bad, ever, in any place I've lived. Please believe me. But something about having a child, something about having to prioritize chores by urgency and obviousness, something about limited time while child is napping - I don't know. It was <i>bad</i>. Like, BAD bad. Like, I'm not afraid of microbes but usually I have gloves on, bad. <br />
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So I end up standing at the sink surrounded by 15 different tupperwares full of 13 kinds of identifiable foods and 2... others. The last time there were this many independent colonies in one place we had a revolution and became America. <br />
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So I'm pouring things down the sink one container at a time, trying not to look because every single mold colony is starting to look pathogenic, trying not to breathe (obviously) and trying simultaneously to turn off the little microbiology-clinical-voice in my head that's identifying bacteria based on smell, and trying not to touch anything because I have a fresh cut on my left hand. (Really?? That's like <i>asking</i> for bacteremia). <br />
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WHERE ARE MY BIOHAZARD BAGS?? THESE THINGS CAN'T ENTER THE WATER SUPPLY!!<br />
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It's about this point that spontaneous generation starts looking like a reasonable theory. <br />
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Also miasma. SWEET BABY MOSES, it's burnin' mah EYES!<br />
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And then, one of the unidentifiable foodstuffs left over from some prehistoric Davis-household meal, was moving. Don't even laugh, I know it was, I <i>know</i> it, I know it. Move over Dr. Frankenstein, I HAVE CREATED LIFE.<br />
...and then systematically extinguished it. What's that, like bacterial genocide?<br />
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Anyway, in case there's ever another big bang, we know where to get a new primordial-soup-starter. Except I just poured it down the dispose-all. <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-43557738703555619992013-01-14T06:10:00.001-08:002013-01-14T06:10:37.399-08:00Reverence and other thoughts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Part of our lovely Christmas vacation included the opportunity to attend the temple sealing of Colby's little brother and his beautiful wife. It was wonderful to be there, and throughout all the festivities I had a piercing, permeating feeling of significance. I was close to tears the whole weekend, filled with tender feelings I could not (and still cannot) find words to express. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of life, mortality, eternity, and human relationships, and somehow the beauty of the snow-covered mountains as we drove to Idaho seemed to echo the perfection of the Plan that I was beginning to see and feel a little more profoundly. The majesty and love of our God and the beauty of his great Plan of Happiness are breathtaking. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In reading some talks by Neal A. Maxwell recently, I have come across some quotes that seem to describe just how I am feeling. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Some of us have been momentarily wrenched by the sound of a train whistle spilling into the night air, and we have been inexplicably subdued by the mix of feelings that this evokes. Or perhaps we have been beckoned by a lighted cottage across a snow-covered meadow at dusk. Or we have heard the warm and drawing laughter of children at a nearby playground. Or we have been tugged at by the strains of congregational singing from a nearby church. Or we have encountered a particular fragrance which has awakened memories deep within us of things which once were. In such moments, we have felt a deep yearning, as if we were temporarily outside of something to which we actually belonged and of which we so much wanted again to be a part.</span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There are spiritual equivalents of these moments. Such seem to occur most often when time touches eternity. In these moments we feel a longing closeness—but we are still separate. The partition which produces this paradox is something we call the veil—a partition the presence of which requires our patience. We define the veil as the border between mortality and eternity; it is also a film of forgetting which covers the memories of earlier experiences. This forgetfulness will be lifted one day, and on that day we will see forever—rather than 'through a glass, darkly' (1 Corinthians 13:12)."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">A </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">sixth</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> trap into which we can fall quite easily, brothers and sisters, is the trap in which we sense that something special is happening in our lives but are not able to sort it out with sufficient precision and clarity that we can articulate it to someone else. That is so often true of the gospel. Its truths are too powerful for us to manage on occasion. ... That is why we are so in need of the Spirit–so that knowledge can arc like electricity from point to point, aided and impelled by the Spirit—aid without which we are simply not articulate enough to speak of all the things which we know. ...Sometimes the things we know take the form of knowledge about what is happening to us in life in which we sense purpose, in which we sense divine design, but which we cannot speak about with full articulateness. There are simply moments of mute comprehension and of mute certitude. We need to pay attention when these moments come to us, because God often gives us the assurances we need but not necessarily the capacity to transmit these assurances to anyone else."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I would like more than anything to be able to write about these feelings. Maybe it is impossible to capture them fully, but I would love to get close, to write something that would call to memory an echo of the majesty I have experienced. I am beginning to understand the idea of "mute certitude." I am discovering an example in my own life of that sacred scriptural occurrence I have wondered about for so long, where words are heard that </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">cannot</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> be expressed by mortal beings: "And after this manner do they bear record: The eye hath never seen, neither hath the ear heard, before, so great and marvelous things as we saw and heard Jesus speak unto the Father; And no tongue can speak, neither can there be written by any man, neither can the hearts of men conceive so great and marvelous things as we both saw and heard Jesus speak; and no one can conceive of the joy which filled our souls at the time we heard him pray for us unto the Father." (3 Nephi 17:15-16). Mute certitude. I am discovering that my own heart can barely conceive the great and marvelous things I am witnessing in this glorious mortal life, or the joy that fills my own soul. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am convinced that motherhood has deepened my spiritual capacity, and I am so grateful. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Colby and Eli and I all took a nap together yesterday afternoon in our big bed, and Eli wasn't sleeping until I snuggled him up next to me and he could bury his face in my shirt. And I just stroked his head and sniffed his little baby smell and drank him in. And I started feeling a little bit tender because his cheeks won't be this round and smooth for very long, and he certainly won't be burying his face in my chest in about 15 years. And I came to a realization. The beauty of families is two-fold. Some things in life are beautiful because they are fleeting, and that makes them more precious. And some certain, important things are beautiful because they are among the few things that remain. Families are all the more beautiful because of the duality - they have both kinds of beauty. They change so quickly - children and relationships are so dynamic - but they are also permanent: one of the only things in this life that is. And I thought of one of my favorite Robert Frost Poems, "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Nothing Gold Can Stay."</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nature's first green is gold,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Her hardest huge to hold.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Her early leaf's a flower;</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But only so an hour.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Then leaf subsides to leaf,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So Eden sank to grief,</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So dawn goes down to day</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nothing gold can stay. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The distinction being that families have a golden sheen of Eden on the galvanized steel of eternity. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The talks in Sacrament meeting yesterday were on reverence. I thought they were extremely interesting, and learned reverence is actually a lot deeper concept than Primary makes it sound. A quote from today (the speaker was quoting someone but I don't know who): "Reverence is the highest human feeling, mingled with the profoundest respect and love." </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">They also used the definition: "a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe." </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I love the phrase "tinged with awe." My deep and tender and grateful feelings lately have certainly been so, and after Sacrament meeting today, I think that I can put a name to those feelings and the name is reverence. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am in love with this life. </span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4176703919263924608.post-58822910014164724142012-10-29T08:57:00.002-07:002012-10-29T08:57:16.505-07:00Hold on to me as we go<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Spent some time the other day dancing with this baby<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOw0iW0LP4XhA-te-ovrYgQ_k9xSpmqMRlQu9dorGcwRgXZTGN0vNuywAadMBgxYxx6BH-QXplDHNqOngldpyEN3vMvbXQw-C-zGd4NdfEtpSkMbbNHVUjrDF0yuuWaq-wQD1Ha5Mf9Qw/s1600/IMG_1401.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOw0iW0LP4XhA-te-ovrYgQ_k9xSpmqMRlQu9dorGcwRgXZTGN0vNuywAadMBgxYxx6BH-QXplDHNqOngldpyEN3vMvbXQw-C-zGd4NdfEtpSkMbbNHVUjrDF0yuuWaq-wQD1Ha5Mf9Qw/s320/IMG_1401.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
to this song. <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/HoRkntoHkIE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
Besides being my fave, it turns out to be a really sweet song to sing to a baby.<br />
It also turns out it's a good polka. <br />
That's what do with people I love. I polka with them. <br />
Well, I dance with them. And when Colby learns how to polka, I'll polka with him, too. <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4