This is my real life.

Nailed it.  

Kid bragging

Let me talk about my kid for a minute:  he's the best and we're so glad he's ours.  It makes me sad to think that someday I'm going to have to stop having babies.  It's basically my favorite pastime.  

Last Tuesday the election people gave him an "I voted" sticker which provided the afternoon's entertainment.  

Looking out the window.  Major bonus points if anyone's out there walking their dog.  

Our ottoman = Eli's personal stone of Sisyphus.

The other day he brought me one shoe and so I put it on him.  He seemed pretty pleased with that and didn't seem to care at all about the other one, but walked around with one shoe on all morning.

This is the most hilarious Romanian/Bolivian? sweater of all time.  

Yesterday at a restaurant he abruptly started coloring.  I've colored with him like exactly 3 times and I had no idea he had grasped the idea.  But he very pointedly handed me the paper to open, then grabbed a crayon (by the proper end!!) and began tapping/drawing lines.  Pretty impressive.

He has also figured out what a phone is for, and it's kind of hilarious to see him walking around babbling with my old cell phone next to his ear.  

I thought he was fun as a baby, but this just keeps getting better and better.  I want to have at least 8 more of these.  

I wish Aunt Jemima were my real aunt

Because in an it-seemed-like-a-good-idea-at-the-time moment that I am going to blame on pregnancy and hunger and low blood sugar and the current phase of the moon, I accidentally made 21 waffles tonight.

Am I the only one who was embarrassed to tell anyone they thought Legolas was hot when they saw the first Lord of the Rings movie?  Because I totally thought he was so attractive but it was a little weird because he... had long blond hair.  And then when I figured out he was a well-known actor that was widely considered to be attractive, I was super relieved.  And I kind of felt like I was leading the pack!

Speaking of leading the pack, I have zero fashion radar.  I think in heaven when they were giving out fashion radar I accidentally lunchtime-swapped my fashion radar for grammar nazi radar.  Apparently, not knowing how mortality was going to be, this seemed like a good idea.  I'm kind of mad at myself now.

So, occasionally I see something fashionable that I also think I would actually wear.  Then I either a) figure I'll get around to it the next time I feel like I can spend money on clothes, or b) worry that it will be gone by then and find a way to purchase it much sooner than that.  Usually a.  Curiously, every time I pick a, the trend doesn't hang around that long, and I'm out of luck (for clarity:  not because I wouldn't wear it if it were out of style.  HA like I care, even when I totally should.  Because it being out of style makes it much harder to buy).  But every time I pick b, I end up seeing these clothes (that I was so anxious to get to avoid an a situation) hanging around in stores for like years to come.  And cheaper than when I bought them.  How do people figure out this stuff, anyway?  What is wrong with me??  Is it because I swapped my fashion radar for a mess of punctuation, or should I be reading celebrity magazines?  Because I DO!  But only to see more pictures of Kate Middleton/the royal baby.  

Please let me know if you find an answer to this.  I'll be the one wearing sweatpants + no makeup at the grocery store.  (happysad that What Not To Wear is over.  I'll miss the free advice, but now I can stop living in fear).

In the mean time, I'll be consoling myself with my freezer full of homemade Eggos.  

Haul out the holly

None of what you are about to read is not shameless self-justification.  Then again, basically this entire blog is shameless, so no one should be like really surprised by that.

It's Christmas at our house.  I have a new pine-scented candle and Christmas carols are on nonstop (I recommend She & Him Holiday on Pandora.  All the classics, plus Zooey Deschanel should be canonized or something).  We already have our tickets to see The Nutcracker the night before Thanksgiving (what can I say, it was like $25 cheaper that way).  Last year, I might have cared.  This year I couldn't care less.  Or be more excited.  

I used to be one of those Scrooges that says Thanksgiving is an important holiday too, and just because it's not commercialized doesn't mean we can forget to be grateful for everything we have, and also Thanksgiving is a beautiful fall and harvest festival that's fun to celebrate on its own.  But, let's be real. It isn't.  It's not fun to celebrate it on its own.  There are no Thanksgiving carols.  And even here on the edge of the South where autumn lasts for like 2 full months, the leaves are almost done turning and it is getting downright cold and there is nothing autumn-y to celebrate anymore.  There is just the chance that it will snow tomorrow (!!!  I'm probably the only one in the greater D.C. area who is remotely happy about this) which obviously means it's time to get rid of the apple spice candle and start thinking in terms of twinkle lights.  Everywhere.  

It is winter.  Therefore, it is Christmas (I've found that this philosophy holds up slightly less well in February, but not for lack of trying on my part).   Additionally, wait till you hear the stellar justification I have for the gratitude part of the holiday. What better way to prepare children (and okay, ourselves) for Christmas than to remember to be grateful for the things we already have?  I know.  It's good, right?  We'll just make Thanksgiving part of the Christmas season.  No loss there.  

Plus, can we all agree that decorating your house for Thanksgiving (unless you live at Pottery Barn, in which case, can I move in with you?) usually looks super tacky, because turkeys are not beautiful either alive or dead (can we talk about that for a minute?  When was the last time you saw a wild turkey in real life?  They have an eerie ability to make those National Geographic pictures of birds of paradise seem not that outlandish at all.  Talk about FLK).

Besides, I need a little Christmas.  Between Colby spending lotsa time on applications and my failed attempt at NaNoWriMo (by attempt I mean all I did was sign up, but baby steps right?  Sorry Tina, I swear I had the best of intentions.  But nothing to say.  How's yours going?) and actually nothing is really wrong I just want to celebrate something.  

Anyway, we're probably just going out to eat on Thanksgiving anyway, so let's just skip the hype, shall we?  

In sum:  Besides the family and the food, Thanksgiving is not fun.  Okay, gratitude is good too I guess.  

But let's move on with Christmas.  

Service

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about women in the Lord’s Kingdom.  There are so many women who are dissatisfied with their roles or perceived roles, and I have been interested as I follow the actions of some recent feminist groups within the Church.  There seems to be a lot of real pain, and I think my interest started as I tried to explain to myself why, when I live in the same culture and community as these women and encounter the same types of situations, I wasn’t concerned or in pain.  After a lot of thought and some prayer, I reached/was given the conclusion:  It’s a blessing.  Of all of my weaknesses and the things I do struggle with, this simply isn’t one of them.  And I am sure that I have weaknesses and struggles that are not shared by these women whose stories I read.  I don’t think it’s necessarily because I understand the Plan of Salvation particularly well, and I certainly don’t think it’s because I’m more righteous than they are.  I just have different trials.  This maybe doesn’t seem very radical to anyone reading this, but embarrassingly enough, it provided a needed paradigm shift for me.  I think that with this particular issue, as in most situations in life, charity and sympathy are paramount. 

Anyway, I’ve spent a little time this afternoon compiling some reading and thoughts and research that I’ve been doing about service in the Kingdom and related topics, and here it is.

Our bodies are as important as our spirits

Think of Christ’s body.  Those who administered to him were administering to the very body that he would lay down for our sins, and that he would later take up again, providing resurrection for all mankind.  It seems to me that the care, keeping, and health of such a pivotal part of the Plan would be very important.  Indeed, aren’t all of our bodies as important as our spirits?  The goal of the whole Plan is for us to become like God.  And God has a body and a spirit, perfectly and forever joined together in eternal life.  Gaining a body was a huge part of why we came to earth, and why we are told we rejoiced when we heard of the Plan!  Paul emphasized the importance of the Resurrection (and our bodies) to the Corinthians: “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, …And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.”

Without bodies, nothing, not our prayers, not our efforts, not sacred ordinances, not even Christ’s Atonement for our sins, would be adequate for salvation, because we would still, without bodies, be unable to become like God.  “O the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace! For behold, if the flesh should rise no more our spirits must become subject to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal

God, and became the devil, to rise no more” (2 Ne. 9:8).  Without our bodies, we are left no better than those spirits who did not keep their first estate and never got to life on earth at all. 

We are told today that our bodies are temples.  Many of the commandments we are given are related to their care and keeping – how we are to clothe them, how much to let them rest, what to feed them (and what not to feed them), what words to let them speak, not to mention the sacred controls that are placed upon the creation or destruction of bodies.  Doesn’t it seem like the Lord loves our bodies and wants us to love them, too?  These are not temporary vehicles for our life on earth.  These are the very imperfect seeds of the perfected souls that we are to become.  Same bodies; made perfect, but same bodies nonetheless.  If our bodies are perfectly half of our souls, and Christ’s Resurrection was perfectly half of the great Atonement process (mirrored by the spiritual half in the Garden of Gethsemane), then the creation, mastery, care, keeping, and service of our bodies and the bodies of others must surely be a noble endeavor indeed.   It’s the same kind of work, with the same goal, as service to the spirits of others.  Sometimes it can be the same thing entirely. 

C.S. Lewis wrote:  “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, If you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship… All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.  Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - These are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit…”  

Broken Bread

Eli and I had bagels and cream cheese for lunch today.  As I was getting his ready, I looked down at my hands and was suddenly particularly struck by what I was doing, tearing his bagel up into little, manageable pieces for him to eat.  I was breaking bread.  As a member of the church, this action immediately had immense spiritual and cultural connotations.  I knew I was in no way providing a priesthood ordinance for my child, but the parallel symbols were too powerful to ignore.  Partaking of the Sacrament feeds and strengthens our spirits.  Ordinary, physical food feeds and strengthens our bodies.  It may not be for me to break the bread of the Lord’s Supper, but it certainly can be for me to break the bread for lunch for my family.  It was today.  “And the spirit and the body are the soul of man.”  (D&C 88:15).  I’m not saying that eating is as important as taking the sacrament, but it certainly is important, and it certainly provides a beautiful symbol, which it is certainly an honor and a blessing to participate in.  (I have similar feelings about the symbolism of labor and childbirth, but I think I’d best save those for another post). 

Physical ministry

In the first chapter of Daughters in my Kingdom (stellar resource by the way!) we read about female disciples in the New Testament.  I was (and am) so struck by all the opportunities women had to physically minister to the Lord Jesus.  A woman bore Him, birthed Him, and nursed Him.  We read in Daughters in my Kingdom: “It is likely that [the women that travelled with Jesus and the Twelve] provided some economic support for Jesus and His Apostles, along with service such as cooking.”  Martha received Him into her home and cooked for Him.  Mary Magdalene anointed Him with oil.  Several women were on their way to anoint His dead body when they found Him miraculously risen. 

Many of the other New Testament examples of women involve physical ministry.  Dorcas was well known for making clothes for the poor.  Paul’s illustration of a righteous widow is a woman very involved in physical ministry:  “Well reported for good works, if she have brought up children, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.”

I love the story of Martha and Mary.  When the Lord explains to Martha that Mary has “chosen that good part,” that one needful thing, he is inviting her to partake of salvation as well.  But I think it’s interesting that he doesn’t (at least not that we have record of) ask her to stop cooking and sit down.  He had a body of flesh just like we do – he was probably hungry.  Someone has got to cook.  I am sure He was grateful for Martha’s sacrifice just as I am sure, lately, as I devote so much time to keeping house and caring for family, that He is grateful for mine. 

Conclusion

Uniquely for his time, Jesus invited the women he encountered to minister spiritually in addition to physically.  From Daughters in my Kingdom, “In an age when women were generally expected to provide only temporal service, the Savior taught Martha and Mary that women could also participate in salvation, ‘that good part’ that would never be taken from them.” 

I am not trying to suggest that physical ministry is or should be women’s only role.  I am not saying that physical ministry belongs to women as spiritual ministry belongs to men. I am capable of so much more than housework, and I know that, and I know that the Lord knows that. I know that I am unique and valuable, and that my spiritual insights and contributions to the Lord’s Church and Kingdom can be as valuable as anyone else’s, if I work hard to study and learn.  I also don’t believe that Priesthood service is the only way to serve, nor do I believe that it always the best or most needed way to serve.

I simply think that, regardless of our position or power or authority or gender or whatever, we should see more value in the good work that we do on a day-to-day basis. Let’s not be so overly concerned with what we can and can’t do, what tasks are or are not assigned to us, that we fail to see and take opportunities to do what we can.  Let’s not be so “careful and troubled” (note that the Greek translation in the footnote also suggests “worried”) about so many things that we fail to see the symbolism, the service, and the value inherent in the tasks that are before us – the potentially-immortal bodies that we can create and feed and clothe, or the bread we can break with those we love, or the smile we can help put on another’s face, or the arm of friendship and welcome we can extend.  The soul that we can bring closer to Christ (as we have been commanded to pray for opportunities to do).  There are so many ways of bringing souls (bodies and spirits) closer to Christ.  As many as there are people on earth, I would imagine.  I guess what I am trying to say is that all service is of value.  We are taught that there are no purely temporal commandments, and I would extrapolate that to service, as well.  Service in the Kingdom is service in the Kingdom.  Let’s try to see and employ as many service opportunities as might fall within our spheres of influence.  That’s something that we all can do. 

Wiping all the things

I just wiped Eli's bum and then his nose and then I started to tell him why, because he doesn't enjoy either of those processes and I felt like I owed him an explanation.  The only thing I came up with was I am doing this because I wipe ALL of your weird bodily fluids.  He must think this is my favorite hobby.

Speaking of hobbies, Eli's new favorite (besides being read to... I'll get into that in a moment) is not napping.  Which is strange, because he's my child and my favorite hobby is ALL THE NAPPING.  Apparently Mendelian genetics do not apply here.  I think the no-napping thing is partially because he has decided that the time previously known as naptime shall now be fill-your-diaper time.  Question:

Is this:
a) a good thing, because now that he associates defecating with one particular location, potty training will be easier
b) not a good thing, because defecating in one's bedroom is unacceptable in most cultures
c) also not a good thing, because it doesn't jive with my favorite hobby (see above)
d) I can't answer this because I'm saying bad words in my head.

Difficult to say.

Don't worry, though, his first-favorite hobby is still reading.  I mean, I would have said this was a good thing 2 months ago.  Or 6 months, or 48 months, or whatever.  I always hoped my children would love books.  HOWEVER.  Even the most bookish human being is bored witless after several rounds in the ring with Little Quack Counts.  In a row.  I mean, the kid could do this for hours!  Which is actually real sweet, and you would think I would be thrilled by this.  And I am.  But sometimes I am also all - look, Eli!  Sesame Street!  Wouldn't you rather watch Sesame Street?  And then I had a brilliant insight - this is why Reading Rainbow was invented.  A TV show that will read to your children??  What happened to that show, anyway?  Now that I really need it, there is no more butterfly in the sky.

Speaking of reading, here he comes peeking over the kitchen table, holding up Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do You See? like his goblet of rock.  (This is the usual request format.)  Do I actually have to take the book from him or does it count if I just recite it from memory?  More of life's persistent questions.

The story of my triumph

We went camping last week, and took our bikes, and had a lovely time.  Unfortunately, while we were biking, the rear-view mirror on my car gave up.  It quit, it's a quitter.  We came back to find it completely unglued from the windshield and swinging happily from a cord.  I'm not really sure what could have happened to cause that, considering there was no impact, no pressure, and no force on the mirror.  It was an unseasonably hot October day, but still.

So, we drove all the way home without it.  (By which I mean Colby drove all the way home.  Go Colby!  Doing what dads do best:  all the driving.  Also all the packing and unpacking.  Woohoo!)

Yesterday I took the car in to the shop to see what could be done about it.  (Before you say anything snarky, let's remember that this is a story about my triumph, not about how it didn't first occur to me to fix it myself.  HELLO, YOUR ARMS AREN'T PAINTED ON.  I'm still a little bit frightened that it took me so long to realize this.  How helpless am I??)  They said that they had to order a special adhesive, and between the adhesive and the labor, it would cost $75 and it would be done by tomorrow.  And inside I was like $75?  Seriously?  It will take you 2 minutes to super glue the thing back on.  And outside I was like, okay, I'll bring it back tomorrow.  BUT THEN.  I drove away and decided to call a Subaru dealership to see how much it SHOULD cost me.  He said "maybe 30 or 40 bucks if you take it to a glass-repair place." Ah-hah!  So, not $75?  I'm sitting in a parking lot near the car place while I make this call (safe driving practices, folks).  Then I called a windshield repair place nearby.  He told me that he could fix it but he didn't have the right "kit" and it was in someone's truck (real professional establishment, this) but he could do it tomorrow.  So, I have to drive around with no mirror until tomorrow morning?

And then the light began to dawn, and the clouds withdrew, and a beam of sunshine shone down on the storefront of Advance Auto Parts, which I was parked in front of.  (It wasn't really like that, but go with me on this.  Poetic license.)  And I thought, wait.  I can glue stuff.  I'M SO GOOD AT GLUING STUFF!  I've been gluing stuff since, like, the first grade!  How much can this special glue cost, anyway?

So I walk inside, and explain my problem to one of the ever so kind and helpful tough-looking men working there.  He understands immediately and leads me over to a rack of special rear-view mirror adhesives.  How much could it possibly cost?

$5.29, it turns out.  Including tax.

So basically, they sold me some glue, told me how to use it, AND figured out how to take apart the mirror to prepare me to glue it back on.  How I love that store and its helpful, tough-looking employees.

The point is, I saved us seventy dollars.  Well, actually, the point is, the guys at Advance Auto Parts saved us $70 because they're super helpful.  The best part was that I got to go into Advance Auto Parts, and I completely love going to Advance Auto Parts, because nothing in the world (besides, perhaps, going to Home Depot) makes me feel more empowered and more capable and more, well, tough.  LET'S DO THIS!!!  Like the time I went to Home Depot the day before I went into labor with Eli.  If you ever want to stick out in public, set foot in Home Depot as a 9-months-pregnant woman.  But that's another story.

That car place I first took the car to?  Last month they told me it'll cost me $1200 to fix the air conditioner.  I was already doubtful, but now I'm probably just going to go to Advance Auto Parts and fix it myself.