Saturday, October 26, 2013

Wiping all the things

I just wiped Eli's bum and then his nose and then I started to tell him why, because he doesn't enjoy either of those processes and I felt like I owed him an explanation.  The only thing I came up with was I am doing this because I wipe ALL of your weird bodily fluids.  He must think this is my favorite hobby.

Speaking of hobbies, Eli's new favorite (besides being read to... I'll get into that in a moment) is not napping.  Which is strange, because he's my child and my favorite hobby is ALL THE NAPPING.  Apparently Mendelian genetics do not apply here.  I think the no-napping thing is partially because he has decided that the time previously known as naptime shall now be fill-your-diaper time.  Question:

Is this:
a) a good thing, because now that he associates defecating with one particular location, potty training will be easier
b) not a good thing, because defecating in one's bedroom is unacceptable in most cultures
c) also not a good thing, because it doesn't jive with my favorite hobby (see above)
d) I can't answer this because I'm saying bad words in my head.

Difficult to say.

Don't worry, though, his first-favorite hobby is still reading.  I mean, I would have said this was a good thing 2 months ago.  Or 6 months, or 48 months, or whatever.  I always hoped my children would love books.  HOWEVER.  Even the most bookish human being is bored witless after several rounds in the ring with Little Quack Counts.  In a row.  I mean, the kid could do this for hours!  Which is actually real sweet, and you would think I would be thrilled by this.  And I am.  But sometimes I am also all - look, Eli!  Sesame Street!  Wouldn't you rather watch Sesame Street?  And then I had a brilliant insight - this is why Reading Rainbow was invented.  A TV show that will read to your children??  What happened to that show, anyway?  Now that I really need it, there is no more butterfly in the sky.

Speaking of reading, here he comes peeking over the kitchen table, holding up Panda Bear, Panda Bear, What Do You See? like his goblet of rock.  (This is the usual request format.)  Do I actually have to take the book from him or does it count if I just recite it from memory?  More of life's persistent questions.

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