I swear I've never let a fridge get this bad, ever, in any place I've lived. Please believe me. But something about having a child, something about having to prioritize chores by urgency and obviousness, something about limited time while child is napping - I don't know. It was bad. Like, BAD bad. Like, I'm not afraid of microbes but usually I have gloves on, bad.
So I end up standing at the sink surrounded by 15 different tupperwares full of 13 kinds of identifiable foods and 2... others. The last time there were this many independent colonies in one place we had a revolution and became America.
So I'm pouring things down the sink one container at a time, trying not to look because every single mold colony is starting to look pathogenic, trying not to breathe (obviously) and trying simultaneously to turn off the little microbiology-clinical-voice in my head that's identifying bacteria based on smell, and trying not to touch anything because I have a fresh cut on my left hand. (Really?? That's like asking for bacteremia).
WHERE ARE MY BIOHAZARD BAGS?? THESE THINGS CAN'T ENTER THE WATER SUPPLY!!
It's about this point that spontaneous generation starts looking like a reasonable theory.
Also miasma. SWEET BABY MOSES, it's burnin' mah EYES!
And then, one of the unidentifiable foodstuffs left over from some prehistoric Davis-household meal, was moving. Don't even laugh, I know it was, I know it, I know it. Move over Dr. Frankenstein, I HAVE CREATED LIFE.
...and then systematically extinguished it. What's that, like bacterial genocide?
Anyway, in case there's ever another big bang, we know where to get a new primordial-soup-starter. Except I just poured it down the dispose-all.
So I end up standing at the sink surrounded by 15 different tupperwares full of 13 kinds of identifiable foods and 2... others. The last time there were this many independent colonies in one place we had a revolution and became America.
So I'm pouring things down the sink one container at a time, trying not to look because every single mold colony is starting to look pathogenic, trying not to breathe (obviously) and trying simultaneously to turn off the little microbiology-clinical-voice in my head that's identifying bacteria based on smell, and trying not to touch anything because I have a fresh cut on my left hand. (Really?? That's like asking for bacteremia).
WHERE ARE MY BIOHAZARD BAGS?? THESE THINGS CAN'T ENTER THE WATER SUPPLY!!
It's about this point that spontaneous generation starts looking like a reasonable theory.
Also miasma. SWEET BABY MOSES, it's burnin' mah EYES!
And then, one of the unidentifiable foodstuffs left over from some prehistoric Davis-household meal, was moving. Don't even laugh, I know it was, I know it, I know it. Move over Dr. Frankenstein, I HAVE CREATED LIFE.
...and then systematically extinguished it. What's that, like bacterial genocide?
Anyway, in case there's ever another big bang, we know where to get a new primordial-soup-starter. Except I just poured it down the dispose-all.
Oh, Maria. This is Tina and Mom. We are laughing hard. You are SOOOO good!!
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