Possibly the best story of my life. Note: I live in suburbia, and previous to this story, I had believed - in the innocent, naive way most kids believe in Santa - in zoning laws.
Last Monday I went for a run and (do you like how I snuck that in there? I’m so fit, and stuff. No actually, it’s part of the story) I ran past this house and there was a lady sitting on the porch, in a patio chair. And there was also this large animal with her. I thought it was a big dog. It wasn’t a dog. When I got closer I saw that it was actually a huge PIG. A HUGE PIG. It wasn't this big, but it was big. I wanted so desperately to stop and just stare at it for a while, but I was running and the lady was sitting right there and it would have been just super obvious and awkward. Okay, I’ve heard of people having pigs for house pets, but little black ones, not fatty spotted pink ones. And somehow having a little black pig was weird, but still okay. This one was – think Wilbur. All he needed was a spider to weave a web over him that said “Some Pig!” and he for sure could have taken first place in the Fairfax county 4H competition at the county fair. Just huge, and fleshy, and pink.